Where Were You in ’87?

by ScottDS

Last year I jumped back 20 years but this time I’m doing 30 years again. I had forgotten how many classic movies were released in 1987. Of course, I was four years old and not aware of any of them, though several later became favorites, starting with the first two.

RoboCop – I still can’t believe Andrew prefers the second film to this one! For my money, Paul Verhoeven’s blood-soaked satire is a near-perfect movie. Volumes have been written about the film’s satire of 80s America and Verhoeven’s outsider perspective (not to mention the Jesus metaphors) but the film really works both as a corporate satire, but also as an old-fashioned western. What is RoboCop, if not a sheriff who’s come in to clean up the town? They don’t make them like this anymore: memorable characters, quotable dialogue, a heroic musical score, and at the heart of the film, a genuinely human story. The film was followed by two sequels, a cartoon, a low-budget TV series, a series of Canadian TV movies, and a forgettable remake. “I’d buy that for a dollar!”

Predator – One of the best “guy movies” ever made, Predator tells the story of Major Alan “Dutch” Schaefer who leads a Special Forces team into the jungle on a rescue mission, only to find out their enemy is not of this Earth. The Predator (designed by the late Stan Winston) has become one of our iconic screen monsters. The cast, including Carl Weathers, Jesse Ventura, Bill Duke, and future filmmaker Shane Black, is an absolute blast. McTiernan would follow this up with Die Hard and The Hunt for Red October and Shane Black is currently working on a new Predator film with his Monster Squad collaborator Fred Dekker. “I ain't got time to bleed.” This leads me to…

The Monster Squad – A box-office failure upon its release, this charming film has since become a cult classic. Fred Dekker, who was later sent to director jail after RoboCop 3, co-wrote and directed this story of a group of young nerds who have to battle the old Universal monsters. A wonderful “backyard adventure” in the Spielberg style (but without the success!) and the origin of the fan favorite line “Wolfman’s got nards!” I haven’t seen it in years but it’s just a fun movie. It’s also pretty un-PC: at one point, Dracula is threatening a young girl and screams “You bitch!!” to her face. Go figure…

Fatal Attraction – A classic I watched for the first time just recently. What amazed me was how casual Michael Douglas and Glenn Close are about the whole thing, at least at the start. They’re both adults, his wife and daughter are out of town, so why not have some fun? Of course, it’s not as simple as that. Some, including Glenn Close, have speculated that her character suffered from borderline personality disorder (BPD). Aside from the lack of cell phones, this movie is also dated in another way: it was released back when Hollywood made actual adult dramas, for adults, with adults acting like adults and not overgrown children. This film was the second highest-grossing film of 1987. Can you imagine that now? “I’m not going to be ignored!”

Moonstruck – Another perfectly pleasant film. Cher stars as a Brooklyn accountant who falls for the brother of the guy to whom she’s engaged. Norman Jewison directs a script by acclaimed playwright John Patrick Shanley (best known to me for Joe vs. the Volcano and, of course, Congo). Yet another classic I watched relatively recently for the first time. I’ve noticed that the best romantic comedies make it look easy. It’s difficult to make any movie, but romantic comedies… I mean, it’s just people. And we can all relate to these stories, whether it’s crazy relatives or getting over a bad breakup, or simply falling for someone who will never feel the same way. This is another genre that Hollywood doesn’t do much nowadays and I think it’s a shame. “Snap out of it!”

Broadcast News – I haven’t seen all of James L. Brooks’ movies, but I found As Good As it Gets to be a bit overrated. Needless to say, Broadcast News is considered to be not only a classic romantic comedy but also an excellent look at the news gathering process. Holly Hunter is Jane, a news producer with no personal life. Albert Brooks is Aaron, a long-time friend of Jane’s and a reporter who sweats profusely on camera, and William Hurt is Tom, a tall and handsome reporter who may have some problems in the ethics department. Another movie just about people trying to have a normal life in a workplace that’s anything but that. “Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive?”

The Untouchables – One of Brian De Palma’s most successful movies, this is one I have to keep on when it shows up on TV. Kevin Costner is Elliot Ness, a Prohibition agent who goes after Chicago gangster Al Capone, played by Robert De Niro. Yes, the filmmakers (including screenwriter David Mamet) played around with history a little bit but the final product is just so much fun. Sean Connery won an Oscar for playing Malone, an old Irish cop who partners with Ness. Not only do Andy Garcia and Charles Martin Smith get in on the fun, be on the lookout for Patricia Clarkson in one of her earliest roles as Ness’ wife. The highlight is probably the Union Station sequence, De Palma’s homage to Eisenstein. “They pull a knife, you pull a gun!”

Dragnet – This is a total guilty pleasure! A comedic remake of/sequel to the original TV series, Dan Aykroyd was born to play Joe Friday, who loves to explain police rules and regulations in his trademark staccato. Tom Hanks, back when he was a “comedic actor,” plays his mismatched partner, the oddly-named Pep Streebeck. They’re tasked with investigating a series of arson fires and it all ties in to a Los Angeles porno king (a lisping Dabney Coleman) and a phony preacher (a wonderfully-sneering Christopher Plummer). There is actually an interesting idea here: when it comes to public outrage, one side can’t exist without the other. But it doesn’t matter – this movie is just bizarre, with cult rituals, a virgin heroine, and some pretty funny gags. “Pagans!”

Superman IV: The Quest for Peace – Oh boy. Two words for you: Cannon Films, who purchased the Superman cinematic rights from the Salkinds, and then proceeded to slash the film’s budget at the last minute. In this one, Superman decides to rid the world of all nuclear weapons (breaking Tom Mankiewicz’ rule that Superman shouldn’t get involved in real-world events). Lex Luthor seeks to profit from this and ends up creating one of the worst screen villains ever: Nuclear Man. Most of the effects are laughable and the plot itself is borderline nonsensical (45 minutes were cut)… but Reeve gives it his all, Hackman is always fun to watch, and the music score – what survived, anyway – is pretty great. “Destroy Superman!”

Spaceballs – Not nearly as witty as The Producers or as political as Blazing Saddles, this movie is still hilarious. Even people who haven’t seen this film are probably familiar with “Use the Schwartz!” Sadly, this film is sort of a time capsule. John Candy and Rick Moranis were staples of my childhood and while Moranis has been retired from Hollywood for years and currently lives in New York City, Candy left us much too early. Making sequels after a long period of time rarely works but this is one instance where I’d be interested to see what they do, especially with Star Wars back in theaters for all eternity. “So, Lone Star, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.”

Planes, Trains & Automobiles – Speaking of John Candy, another staple of my childhood who left us much too soon was filmmaker John Hughes. Sixteen Candles might be my favorite Brat Pack film but this is my favorite Hughes film period. Steve Martin is just trying to make it home for Thanksgiving when he befriends a loudmouth shower curtain ring salesman (John Candy) and shenanigans ensue. When my brother and I were younger, we re-enacted the “You're going the wrong way!” scene for dad's new camcorder. (At the time, my brother was short enough to stand on the driver's seat without hitting the roof!) A sweet movie and a holiday classic. “Those aren’t pillows!”

Empire of the Sun – Steven Spielberg’s dramatization of J.G. Ballard’s autobiographical novel features a young Christian Bale as a boy separated from his parents after the Japanese invade Shanghai at the start of World War II. This is one of Spielberg’s masterpieces and it’s a shame it’s not as well-known as Schindler’s List or Saving Private Ryan. Oddly, I tend to consider it alongside A.I. in that both films deal with parental separation and both leave me feeling uneasy by the end. (Is there a shrink in the house?!) Production values are top-notch, John Williams’ score is excellent, and look for John Malkovich, Joe Pantoliano, and a young Ben Stiller. “P-51! Cadillac of the sky!”

September – One of Woody Allen’s humorless melodramas – coming after 1978’s Interiors and followed by 1988’s Another Woman (the best of the three), September is a chamber piece and the plot is the usual Woody: upper-crust New Yorkers dealing with relationship drama and trying to make sense of a chaotic universe. The production history is more interesting: Woody cast the film, re-cast one role just a few weeks into production, finished the film, decided it didn’t work… then re-cast it and filmed it again! “It's hell getting’ older. Especially when you feel 21 inside.”

Lethal Weapon – Richard Donner’s film more or less reinvented the buddy cop movie. Mel Gibson and Danny Glover have excellent chemistry as Martin Riggs and Roger Murtaugh: Riggs is depressed and suicidal while Murtaugh is a normal family man dealing with turning 50. While investigating the death of a young woman, they discover a heroine smuggling ring run by Vietnam War-era mercenaries. The movie could’ve been a forgettable potboiler but Gibson and Glover elevate the material, the villains are genuinely menacing, and Donner’s at the height of his directorial powers. This film was followed by three sequels, a spoof (Loaded Weapon, which is actually pretty funny), and is currently a TV series on Fox. “I’m too old for this shit!”

Also: Adventures in Babysitting, Beverly Hills Cop II, The Big Easy, Can’t Buy Me Love, Death Wish 4, Dirty Dancing, Evil Dead II, Good Morning, Vietnam, Hamburger Hill, Hellraiser, Innerspace, Ishtar, Jaws: The Revenge, The Last Emperor, Less Than Zero, The Living Daylights, The Lost Boys, Masters of the Universe, The Miami Connection, Near Dark, No Way Out, The Princess Bride, Prince of Darkness, Raising Arizona, Revenge of the Nerds II, The Running Man, The Secret of My Success, Stakeout, Three Men and a Baby, Three O’Clock High, Throw Mama from the Train, Tin Men, Wall Street, and The Witches of Eastwick.

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Where Were You in ’96?

by ScottDS

I’ve decided to jump ahead 10 years, so let us look back [gulp] 20 years at 1996. I was a 13-year old socially-awkward nerd (hard to believe, I know) and this was the first year I started going to movies with school friends and not parents, so it will always hold a special place for me. As per usual, the list leans towards genre stuff.

Independence Day – The big one. Back when Roland Emmerich could direct a watchable film. Back when a teaser could play in theaters and not be dissected within minutes. I’m still a fan of this movie. It’s just fun and goofy and ridiculous and some of the effects have dated… but it’s likeable and genuinely exciting. And David Arnold’s bombastic score is a treat. One wishes all this could be said about Emmerich’s 2012. Right now, an Independence Day sequel (sans Will Smith) is in post-production and I consider it a huge mistake. Nostalgia counts but this teaser doesn't inspire a lot of confidence. “All you need is love. John Lennon. Smart man. Shot in the back, very sad.”

Fargo – Would you believe I only saw this film for the first time this year? And that was after the excellent FX TV series! This critical darling is what I call “deceptively simple” – it’s a crime drama, but there’s enough homespun weirdness to make it unique. This is the Coen Brothers firing on all cylinders. William H. Macy plays (what else?) a sad sack who hires two thugs (Steve Buscemi and Peter Stormare) to kidnap his wife so he can extort his rich father-in-law. Frances McDormand plays a police officer who investigates a related homicide. The cold Midwest landscape is bleak and oppressive and Carter Burwell’s Norwegian folk-inspired score is downright depressing. “There's more to life than a little money, you know. Don'tcha know that?”

Twister – I thought this movie was awesome back in 1996. I recently watched parts of it and… yikes. Cheesy and clichéd and the otherwise talented Cary Elwes plays a mustache-twirling villain (you know, because tornadoes aren’t big enough?!). The film did have one of the great teasers (featuring that cool shot that wasn’t in the film) and ILM’s effects mostly kinda sorta hold up, but damn. I swear half the dialogue consists of “Run!” and “Go!” With Michael Crichton and Steven Spielberg involved, you’d expect something a little, uh, better. On the plus side, however, this film was my first exposure to the late, great Philip Seymour Hoffman. “‘The Suck Zone.’ It's the point basically when the twister… sucks you up. That's not the technical term for it, obviously.”

Mission: Impossible – I’ll always have fond memories of this film, even if the plot was a little too labyrinthine. Brian de Palma directed what would be his highest-grossing, most crowd-pleasing film, and plenty of his trademark visual tricks are on display. Many criticized the film for making what was an ensemble TV show into a Tom Cruise showcase and many more criticized the film for turning series lead Jim Phelps into a villain. But for someone who had never seen the series, this movie was just a lot of fun, though the novelization helped to clear up some things. The CIA vault sequence is still a great case study in direction and the helicopter/Chunnel climax is ridiculous (and awesome!). “Good morning, Mr. Phelps.”

Star Trek: First Contact – Picard and Co. travel back in time to 2063 to stop the Borg from interfering with Earth’s first warp flight. Jonathan (Riker) Frakes made his big-screen directing debut and while he’s still a regular TV director, I wish a studio would give him another shot at the big chair. Alice Krige is silky and sexy as the Borg Queen and James Cromwell plays warp drive inventor Zefram Cochrane. The film is good but somewhat hampered by its low budget and I can’t disagree with fans who feel the studio-mandated Borg Queen was a mistake. The make-up effects are great, Jerry Goldsmith returned to do the music, and Deborah Everton's 21st century outfits are some of my favorite Trek costumes. (I love Cochrane’s ensemble!) “Believing oneself to be perfect is often the sign of a delusional mind.”

Jerry Maguire – Cameron Crowe’s critical and audience favorite features Tom Cruise as a super agent who one day has a moral epiphany, is subsequently fired, and is stuck with only one loyal client and one loving employee. The client is NFL star Rod Tidwell, the role for which Cuba Gooding Jr. won an Oscar – it’s a shame his subsequent career has had more downs than ups. Renée Zellweger plays Maguire’s employee/love interest and she's on the receiving end of the classic line “You complete me.” Sadly the last time she was in the news, it was because of her cosmetic surgery. Hell, even Cameron Crowe’s career has hit the skids. He did Almost Famous after this, which is considered a modern classic, and then Vanilla Sky… and nothing’s clicked since. “Twenty-four hours ago, man, I was hot! Now… I'm a cautionary tale.”

Mars Attacks! – This is one movie I wish I liked more than I did. Equal parts 50s B-movie and 70s disaster movie, Tim Burton’s all-star mess is based on a series of grotesque Topps trading cards: big-brained aliens attack Earth, Sarah Jessica Parker’s head is attached to the body of a Chihuahua, and the only way to kill the aliens is to blast Slim Whitman music. Jack Nicholson plays two roles, Rod Steiger plays a war-mongering general, and Tom Jones plays himself. How can I not like this movie!?! Because it’s honestly not that funny and I don’t really care about anyone… even Danny Elfman’s theremin-heavy score doesn’t do it for me here. After this film, Burton would go on to develop an ill-fated Superman movie which is the stuff of legend. “Ack! Ack! Ack!”

Daylight – This disaster movie from Rob Cohen is one of those movies I’ll keep on in the background. It’s not particularly good, but it’s still watchable. Sylvester Stallone is former EMT chief Kit Latura, the Only One Who Can Save the Day after an explosion seals of both ends of an unnamed New York/New Jersey tunnel. It’s clichéd and predictable and there’s some ham-handed backstory explaining why Stallone is no longer on the force. The cast includes Amy Brenneman as a playwright who’s sick of the city and Viggo Mortensen as an adrenaline junky (you can see where this is going). This was one of Stallone’s last big movies before he ended up in direct-to-video purgatory for a few years. If you’re claustrophobic, I’d avoid this one! “Okay, we're high and dry and out of danger. Now, what we don’t need is more surprises. Right?”

The English Patient – Proof that Best Picture doesn’t necessarily equate to longevity. I still haven’t seen it (one day!), but when was the last time you heard anyone talk about it? The actors are talented and it’s well-made from the bits and pieces I’ve seen, but Fargo got a TV series… where, may I ask, is The English Patient series? [smile] I would argue that this film is better known today for the Seinfeld episode in which Elaine resents everyone she knows telling her to go see it and she gets stuck seeing it… twice. And in case you were wondering, the film tells the story of a wounded pilot who, in the final days of WWII, tells the story of a fateful love affair to the nurse who’s tending to him. “Those sex scenes! I mean, please! Gimme something I can use!” (That was from the episode, not the film.)

Eraser – One of Arnold Schwarzenegger’s last big headliners. He plays a Witness Protection agent who’s tasked with protecting a defense contractor employee (Vanessa Williams) after she finds out her crooked boss plans to sell the company’s new weapon on the black market… that old chestnut. There are a lot of familiar faces, including the much-missed James Coburn as Arnold’s boss, James Caan as Arnold’s mentor (and traitor), and the late Robert Pastorelli as one of Arnold’s previous witnesses who gets to help out. I haven’t seen the film in years but I remember some fun (if implausible) action sequences and some horrible CGI when Arnold comes face to face with a crocodile. “I didn't know treason was part of the corporate strategy.”

Hamlet – I first watched Kenneth Branagh’s 4-hour 70mm epic in high school and enjoyed it very much. Unlike previous adaptations, this one uses the complete text. The cast ranges from excellent to “Him?” Branagh plays Hamlet, the prince who seeks to avenge his father’s murder. Derek Jacobi is Claudius, Julie Christie is Gertrude, and Kate Winslet is Ophelia. Charlton Heston is the Player King, Brian “Gordon’s alive!” Blessed is the ghost of Hamlet’s father, Billy Crystal (!) is the First Gravedigger, Robin Williams (!!) is Osric, and Jack Lemon is sadly a bit out of his depth as Marcellus. Tech stuff is all top notch, as is the location work at Blenheim Palace. This film is truly an epic of the old school. “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.”

The Island of Dr. Moreau – Cult director Richard Stanley was fired from his passion project three days in and was replaced by John Frankenheimer. Val Kilmer was a temperamental ass, Marlon Brando was his eccentric self, and Mother Nature was a bitch. I recommend the documentary Lost Soul: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley’s Island of Dr. Moreau – it features Stanley and others discussing what could’ve been. There were days where Kilmer wouldn’t leave his trailer until Brando left his, but Brando wouldn’t leave his trailer until Kilmer left his! Meanwhile, dozens of extras in strange animal makeup were sitting around with nothing to do. To be fair, Kilmer was dealing with his divorce and Brando was dealing with his daughter’s suicide. Stanley even managed to sneak back onto the set disguised as an animal extra. “I have seen the devil in my microscope, and I have chained him.”

The Long Kiss Goodnight – Honestly, I think this is Samuel L. Jackson’s most quotable movie. Geena Davis stars in one of her last big films as Samantha Caine, a housewife who finds out she was once a CIA assassin. Jackson is a PI who teams up with her to find the truth and Brian Cox does more in five minutes than most actors do in two hours as an eccentric doctor. Renny Harlin directs one of his last big movies and Shane Black writes one of his last big movies before bouncing back with 2005’s Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. The plot involves a CIA false flag operation in which the agency would blow up Niagara Falls and place the blame on Islamic terrorists in order to get more funding – the stuff that truther dreams are made of. “…when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of ‘u’ and ‘umption’.”

Everyone Says I Love You – A charming Woody Allen musical. All of the actors (save for one) use their own singing voices: some are okay, like Edward Norton; some are actually pretty good, like Goldie Hawn; and others should stick to their day jobs, like [cough] Julia Roberts. The plot is immaterial – a series of vignettes featuring an upper-class liberal Manhattan family. The final 20 minutes are magic: a bunch of dancing Groucho Marxes singing “Hurray for Captain Spaulding” in French, followed by Woody and Goldie dancing along (and above) the Seine. Another example of an R-rated movie that shouldn’t be (one “mother---er” in a rap song… and nothing else!). “I should go to Paris and jump off the Eiffel Tower. I'll be dead. In fact, if I get the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier…”

Swingers – I need to see this again. Jon Favreau wrote the screenplay, basing it on his experiences as a newly-single struggling actor in LA. He plays Mike and Vince Vaughn plays his friend Trent. I saw this movie for the first time in high school and as someone who’s struggled with the opposite sex (and with friends who are all too eager to assist), this movie hit me on a personal level. The scene in which Favreau attempts to leave a message on a woman’s answering machine is positively cringe-inducing. The film’s budget was nearly non-existent – director Doug Liman shot party scenes at actual parties and the crew had at least one run-in with cops when they were caught without a permit. An indie classic. “I want you to remember this face, here. Okay? This is the guy behind the guy behind the guy.”

The People vs. Larry Flynt – It might be hard to believe but there was a time when porn was actually controversial! Milos Forman’s film stars Woody Harrelson as the titular Flynt, strip club owner and publisher of Hustler. Courtney Love plays his (fourth) wife, Althea. The main… uh, thrust… of the film involves Flynt’s legal battles with Jerry Falwell over a parody story detailing a sexual encounter between Falwell and his own mother – a case that went all the way to the Supreme Court, eventually in Flynt’s favor. Ya know… as a 32-year old male, I can’t say I’m against any of this, but I do sometimes wonder where we’re going as a society. Sometimes. “I don't like what Larry Flynt does, but what I do like is the fact that I live in a country where you and I can make that decision for ourselves.”

Also: American Buffalo, The Arrival, Beautiful Girls, Big Night, The Birdcage, Bound, Broken Arrow, The Cable Guy, Courage Under Fire, The Craft, Dragonheart, Evita, Executive Decision, Flirting with Disaster, The Frighteners, From Dusk Till Dawn, The Ghost and the Darkness, Happy Gilmore, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, James and the Giant Peach, John Carpenter’s Escape From LA, Kingpin, Matilda, Michael Collins, Multiplicity, The Nutty Professor, 101 Dalmations, Ransom, The Rock, Scream, Shine, Sleepers, Sling Blade, Space Jam, That Thing You Do!, Trainspotting, and William Shakespeare’s Romeo & Juliet

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Where Were You in ’85?

by ScottDS

My, my, my, where does the time go? It seems like just yesterday I was researching 1984, which is considered one of the best years for movies. As we move into 2015 (and with no hoverboards in sight), let us revisit 1985. As usual, the list mainly consists of genre pieces – nothing too prestigious!

Back to the Future – [sigh] This movie. It seems to be more popular now than it was upon its release 30 years ago. It’s an American classic, with a smart screenplay, fun characters, memorable dialogue, a soaring music score, and a wonderful “what if?” story at the center of it. In case you’ve been living under a rock, Michael J. Fox plays teenager Marty McFly who travels back in time in a DeLorean and endangers his own existence. If you ask me politely at a party where alcohol is being served, I might just quote the damn thing near-verbatim! “Why are things so heavy in the future? Is there a problem with the Earth's gravitational pull?”

Better Off Dead – I joined this particular cult rather late, having seen it for the first time 10 years ago. Check out Andrew’s review for the plot details. Needless to say, I enjoy the hell out of this movie. The whole thing just has this cool low-key vibe of a first-time writer/director (Savage Steve Holland) playing around with the ideas in his head. It's just a shame Holland is stuck in Disney TV land. The characters are likeable, Diane Franklin is adorable, some of the gags are downright bizarre, and one highlight is David Ogden Stiers as John Cusack’s dad… he plays it with the perfect amount of deadpan. “The K-12 dude. You make a gnarly run like that and girls will get sterile just looking at you.”

Brazil – Terry Gilliam’s dystopian masterpiece features Jonathan Pryce as a lovelorn office drone. As a design student, there are a handful of films I turn to when I need inspiration and this is one of them – it’s one of the most elaborate and detailed movies ever made. The screenplay has some genuine intelligence and wit (gotta love Tom Stoppard’s wordplay) and the acting is generally excellent… though I must admit things get a bit bonkers in the second half. Liberals and conservatives see each other in the film, and that suits me just fine! And the behind the scenes battles between Gilliam and the studio are the stuff of legend. “But I could be anybody.” “No you couldn't, sir.”

Explorers – Joe Dante’s sci-fi tale is fun for the whole family. Ethan Hawke (in his film debut) plays a sci-fi-obsessed teenager who’s been having dreams of a mysterious circuit board. After putting it together with his genius friend (River Phoenix, in his film debut), they realize they’re able to create a spaceship. With a third friend, they take the ship out one night and are intercepted by aliens. I loved this movie as a kid and it still holds up, but the ending just sits there. The studio didn’t let Dante finish the movie – the final version is a work in progress with characters and entire subplots missing. Having said that, the kids are likable, Jerry Goldsmith’s score is sublime, and Dante regulars Dick Miller and Robert Picardo show up, too. “If this is all a dream, what's gonna happen when we wake up?”

Clue – A genuine cult classic, back when the idea of making a film based on something as dumb as a board game was a risk and not Hollywood’s standard operating procedure!! I'm not an expert on much of Jonathan Lynn's work but of the films he's directed (including My Cousin Vinny), this has to be the best written of them all. The screenplay (by Lynn, from a concept by John Landis) is full of wonderful wordplay, the likes of which you don’t get very often today. The characters – obviously based on their game counterparts – are all given (somewhat) realistic backstories and the actors make it look effortless. And Colleen Camp has never been hotter! I first saw this film in Los Angeles, done Rocky Horror-style, with performers acting out the film on stage as it played on the screen behind them. “I was in the hall. I know because I was there.”

The Color Purple – This was Steven Spielberg’s eighth movie and to call it a change of pace would be an understatement. (It’s also the only Spielberg film not scored by John Williams). I confess I have yet to see it in its entirety – only bits on TV. Based on Alice Walker’s novel, the film tells the story of Celie Harris, a young black woman in the south during the early 20th century. Whoopi Goldberg and Oprah Winfrey make their film debuts as Celie and Sofia, respectively. Per usual for Spielberg, the film is well-made and well-shot (at least from what I’ve seen) and, of course, the usual suspects wondered how a white Jewish director could make a movie about the female African-American experience. Some things never change. “I'm poor, black, I might even be ugly, but dear God, I'm here.”

Commando – I went through an 80s kick on Netflix a few years ago and I had so much fun watching this cheesefest! Arnold Schwarzenegger plays John Matrix – JOHN MATRIX!!!! – an ex-Special Forces something or other who has to rescue his daughter after she’s kidnapped by mercenaries… but does it matter? This is Schwarzenegger in his prime, just one year after The Terminator. There’s blood and explosions and crazy stunts and every conceivable weapon. And it might sound sacrilegious but this might be Arnie’s most quotable movie. He even gets in “I’ll be back”! Rae Dawn Chong assists Arnold on his mission and Vernon Wells plays the chainmail-clad bad guy, who gets one of my favorite lines: “John, I’m not going to shoot you between the eyes. I’m going to shoot you between the balls!”

National Lampoon’s European Vacation – This merely-okay sequel seems to get lost between the original film and Christmas Vacation. The Griswolds – Chevy Chase as Clark, Beverly D’Angelo as Ellen, and two new kids – win an all-expenses-paid trip to Europe and everything that can go wrong does. Honestly, I only remember a couple of things, including the roundabout gag (“There’s Big Ben! And Parliament!”) and that there’s more nudity than you’d get in a PG-13 movie today, because f--- the MPAA. Watch for some familiar faces, including John Astin as a game show host, Eric Idle as a bicyclist who receives the brunt of Clark’s buffoonery, and the late British comedian Mel Smith as a slimy motel clerk. Not much to say… maybe it’s due for a re-watch. “Honey, we're not normal people. We're the Griswolds.”

Death Wish 3 – For some folks, the Death Wish films are totally repulsive. For others, they’re pure entertainment, albeit with diminishing returns. Enter Death Wish 3, the last one directed by Michael Winner. It’s sleazy and dumb and you wonder how Charles Bronson’s character always manages to get into trouble, not to mention everyone close to him is raped or killed. This time, Paul Kersey is back in New York visiting an old war buddy… who is promptly killed by a local gang (whose members dress up like fans at a Warriors convention). The film becomes senior citizens vs. punks and Bronson is assisted by Martin Balsam as a WW2 vet who keeps a Browning machine gun in his closet. Obviously. And despite taking place in New York, the film was shot in England and it shows. “I'm going out for some ice cream... this is America, isn't it?”

Into the Night – This obscure curiosity by John Landis has always fascinated me for some reason. It tells the story of an insomniac (Jeff Goldblum) who encounters a young model named Diana (Michelle Pfeiffer), who’s on the run from the SAVAK (Iran’s secret police). What follows is a strange series of capers, close calls, wrong turns, and other misadventures, all over the course of a night and a day in Los Angeles. Landis was known for casting other filmmakers in his movies and this one is no exception: Jim Henson, Amy Heckerling, David Cronenberg, Jonathan Lynn, Paul Mazursky, make-up FX guru Rick Baker, etc. Landis himself – who was dealing with the aftermath of the Twilight Zone tragedy – plays a SAVAK goon. The biggest name in the cast is actually David Bowie, who plays a sadistic British hitman. This movie is weird but watchable. “Why can't I sleep?”

Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure – Another childhood (and, uh, adulthood) favorite. Paul Reubens created the character of Pee-Wee Herman while at The Groundlings. This led to an acclaimed stage show, which was followed by a Saturday morning series for kids. This film – which also put Tim Burton and Danny Elfman on the map – tells a simple story of a man searching for his lost bike. Elfman’s score, inspired by Rota and Herrmann, is larger than life while the stop-motion gags and clown routines are pure Burton. Jan Hooks (who sadly passed away a month ago) is hilarious as an Alamo tour guide and the late, great Phil Hartman – who was part of the original Groundlings team – shows up at the end and also co-wrote the film with Reubens. “I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel.”

Rocky IV – More wonderful 80s cheese! This time it’s Rocky vs. Russia as we meet Ivan Drago, the Soviet Union’s top boxer. He kills Apollo Creed in the ring and Rocky decides to fight Drago to avenge his friend and defend his country. This isn’t a movie – it’s a series of montages with some filler in between. But man, it’s so much fun. Talia Shire, Carl Weathers, and Burt Young return and Dolph Lundgren makes for an imposing presence. I still can’t get over Rocky’s birthday gift to Paulie: a robot. Yes, he buys the man a robot. I always assumed the robot was a Soviet spy and if the film were made today, the robot would no doubt get its own spinoff movie. “I guess what I'm trying to say is, if I can change, and you can change, everybody can change.”

A View to a Kill – The crappiest Bond movie until Die Another Day came along. Bond (Roger Moore in his final Bond film) investigates tycoon Max Zorin (Christopher Walken) who plans to destroy Silicon Valley which would give him a monopoly on the microchip industry. Everyone just looks tired in this one. Tanya Roberts is hot but doesn’t contribute much, Walken is uncharacteristically understated, and Grace Jones is…, well, she’s Grace Jones. Tech stuff is all top-notch but the rear-projection looks awfully dated, especially considering the technical leaps made in FX in this decade. Duran Duran’s theme song is a highlight, though. “You have exactly 35 minutes to get properly dressed, 007.”

The Purple Rose of Cairo – One of Woody Allen’s most charming movies, it tells the story of a Depression-era waitress who goes to see a movie, only for the lead character to notice her in the audience and leave the black and white movie screen for the colorful real world. Mia Farrow (naturally) plays Cecilia and Jeff Daniels plays Tom Baxter, an archeologist. Everything is fine until Gil Shepherd (Daniels), the actor who plays Baxter, learns of what happens. Cecilia must choose between the real actor or the fictional character. Woody Allen has said this is one of the few films of his that actually turned out the way he wanted it when he started writing. “You make love without fading out?”

Weird Science – Gotta love that Oingo Boingo theme song! John Hughes’ sci-fi tale features Anthony Michael Hall and Ilan Mitchell-Smith as Gary and Wyatt, two nerds who use the power of computers to create their own perfect woman (Kelly LeBrock)… and then all hell breaks loose. Robert Downey Jr. shows up as the nerds’ nemesis and Bill Paxton steals the show as Wyatt’s older brother Chet. This film also taught a generation that the best protective gear is a bra on your head. I’m sure the inevitable remake will be twice as big and only half as good. “You know, there's going to be sex, drugs, rock-n-roll… chips, dips, chains, whips… You know, your basic high school orgy type of thing.”

Also: After Hours, The Black Cauldron, The Breakfast Club, Blood Simple, Cocoon, D.A.R.Y.L., Day of the Dead, Desperately Seeking Susan, Enemy Mine, Flesh + Blood, Fright Night, The Goonies, Jagged Edge, Lifeforce, Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, Pale Rider, Prizzi's Honor, Rambo: First Blood Part II, Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins, Spies Like Us, and Witness.

Will 2015 prove to be as memorable? We’re getting a new Jurassic Park, a new Terminator, and a new Star Wars. What year is it again??

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Movie Rewind: Where Were You in ’84?

by ScottDS

For my money, 1984 was just a good a year as 1982 was for movies. As per usual, this list focuses more on genre stuff and in no way constitutes a definitive best-of list! (And apologies for my lack of articles in 2013 – school has taken up most of my time.)

1984 – The second adaptation of George Orwell’s seminal novel, Michael Radford’s 1984 casts John Hurt as Winston Smith, a clerk in the Ministry of Truth who rewrites historical documents for the state. He falls in love with Julia and suffers the consequences of his “thoughtcrime.” Richard Burton appears (in his last role) as the villainous O’Brien and many of the phrases (originally from the novel) are part of the lexicon, including “doublethink” and “Big Brother.” Depressing but always relevant. “I love you.”

Amadeus – Milos Forman’s adaptation of Peter Shaffer’s 1979 stage play won eight Academy Awards, including Best Actor for F. Murray Abraham who plays composer Antonio Salieri, envious rival of the vulgar Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart (Tom Hulce, always Pinto). The look of the film is lavish, with the production having shot mostly on location in Eastern Europe. Dick Smith’s old-age make-up is some of the best ever done and according to music experts, Hulce played every note on the piano correctly! “I speak for all mediocrities in the world.”

2010: The Year We Make Contact – Writer/director Peter Hyams received Stanley Kubrick’s blessing to adapt Arthur C. Clarke’s sequel novel. The eclectic cast includes Roy Scheider as Dr. Heywood Floyd, John Lithgow as Discovery engineer Kurnow, Bob Balaban as HAL creator Dr. Chandra, and Helen Mirren as Russian cosmonaut Kirbuk. The political subplot dates the movie but it’s still entertaining. No space battles or fight scenes – just science and wonder. The effects mostly hold up, though the screenwriting is clunky at times, with less than stellar exposition (way too much voice-over). “My God, it’s full of stars!”

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension – This cult classic seems to get more popular with each passing year. Peter Weller is the titular hero, neurosurgeon/test pilot/rock star Buckaroo Banzai. John Lithgow is Lord John Whorfin, leader of the Red Lectroids who wish to take over Planet 10 after being banished by the Black Lectroids. (The Red ones are all named John; the Black ones are all Rastafarian.) Everyone is after the “oscillation overthruster” which allows humans to pass through solid matter. [sigh] Don’t ask. This film can’t be described in a short paragraph. Banzai’s compatriots include Clancy Brown as Rawhide and Jeff Goldblum as New Jersey. And the end credits are awesome. “Why is that watermelon there?”

Gremlins – One of the films that led to the creation of the PG-13 rating, Joe Dante’s horror comedy from first-time screenwriter (and future director) Chris Columbus still holds up after all these years. Inventor Randall Peltzer (Hoyt Axton) buys his son Billy (Zach Galligan) a fury creature known as a Mogwai. But all hell breaks loose after they fail to follow the main rule: don’t get it wet! A tour de force of creature effects, cartoonish gags, larger than life characters, and a cast of character actors (including Dante regular Dick Miller), all presented by Steven Spielberg’s then-new production outfit Amblin Entertainment. Also remembered for Jerry Goldsmith’s famous theme. “Get out of my kitchen!”

Beverly Hills Cop – A massive hit that wouldn’t be nearly as funny without Eddie Murphy, enigmatic director Martin Brest’s action-comedy features Murphy as Detroit cop Axel Foley who heads to Beverly Hills to solve the murder of a friend. An early hit for producer Jerry Bruckheimer, this film spawned two sequels and even a recent TV pilot which surprisingly was not picked up. Highlights include John Ashton and Judge Reinhold as Beverly Hills, uh, cops, along with Bronson Pinchot as Serge, and the always-entertaining Steven Berkoff as (who else?) the villain. And even people who’ve never seen the film know Harold Faltermeyer’s “Axel F” theme. “Don’t f--- with me, Axel!”

Ghostbusters – One of my top 3 favorite movies of all-time, the movie that I grew up on, the movie whose original making-of book I spent years tracking down on eBay… what more could possibly be said about this classic American comedy? (Andrew reviewed it here.) Bill Murray, co-writers Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis, and Ernie Hudson (all playing their A-games) are the Ghostbusters, paranormal exterminators who have to save the day when a malevolent spirit attempts to bring about the end of the world. Excellent production values, a memorable theme song, infinitely-quotable dialogue, and sincere performances. “What about the Twinkie?”

Red Dawn – Co-written and directed by the colorful John Milius, this cult classic shows what happens when the Soviets decide to invade Small Town, U.S.A. They meet armed resistance: a group of high school students who resort to guerilla warfare, and who call themselves the “Wolverines” after their school mascot. This is another movie I saw pretty late in the game and I liked it, corny moments and all. Plenty of familiar faces in this one, including Charlie Sheen, Patrick Swayze, Lea Thompson, Harry Dean Stanton, and Powers Booth. The right loved it, the left hated it… but some on the far-left loved it, too. “Avenge me!!”

The Karate Kid – I saw this movie years after the fact but it still worked. New student Daniel Russo (Ralph Macchio) is bullied by Johnny, a student at the Cobra Kai dojo. (I’m grinning just writing this.) Danny asks the kindly handyman at his mom’s apartment to train him. And thus audiences were introduced to Mr. Miyagi, played by the late Pat Morita, who was nominated for an Oscar! Elizabeth Shue plays Ali, the object of both Daniel and Johnny’s affections and Johnny is played by William Zabka, who played the bully in almost every other 80s movie. Director John G. Avildsen achieved immortality with Rocky but he’ll certainly be remembered for this one as well. The film spawned three sequels and an inevitable remake. “Sweep the leg.”

Revenge of the Nerds – Of all the college comedies released in the wake of Animal House, this is one of the best. Louis and Gilbert attend Adams College where they, along with their fellow outcasts, face constant harassment by the jock fraternity, the Alpha Betas. Co-stars Anthony Edwards and Timothy Busfield have gone on to greater heights, though I’m not sure Robert Carradine has been able to live this one down. Also stars perennial character actor Curtis Armstrong (as “Booger”), sitcom killer Ted McGinley, and John Goodman who’s excellent as the Alpha Beta’s coach. And for anyone who thinks movies are more objectionable today, just show them this one. “We’ve got bush!”

Runaway – Yeah, right now you're probably thinking, "This stupid movie?" Honestly, I'm only including it so I can link to this montage. (Watch till the end!) As I write this, it’s been five years since the untimely passing of Michael Crichton, who wrote and directed this tale of robots run amuck. Crichton was a great novelist but his original movies (namely this and 1981's Looker) were quite silly, but fun in a B-movie kind of way. Tom Selleck is Sgt. Jack Ramsay who specializes in robotic crimes, and is baffled when he and his new partner (Cynthia Rhodes) find themselves dealing with the first homicide-by-robot. Gene Simmons (!) plays the villain… and. He’s. Just. Nuts. “Ramsay!!”

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock – This was the last of the Kirk/Spock movies I saw when I first got into Trek 20 years ago. (I was at the mercy of Blockbuster’s selection.) It’s not as good as the movies surrounding it but not as bad as some people think. Leonard Nimoy does a competent job in his big-screen directing debut, though writer/producer Harve Bennett’s script takes a major shortcut in explaining the demise of the Genesis Planet. Proto-matter? Really? Christopher Lloyd is the villainous Klingon Kruge, though he mostly comes across as just another crazy Christopher Lloyd character. But the vintage 80s effects by ILM are great, James Horner’s score is larger than life, and all the actors get a moment to shine. “That green-blooded son of a bitch!”

Top Secret! – A parody that mixes Elvis movies and World War II thrillers, this cult classic from the Zucker-Abrahams-Zucker team doesn’t quite hold up narratively in the same way Airplane! and The Naked Gun do. (Both of those movies still work straight without the jokes.) But it’s a riot! Val Kilmer makes his big-screen debut as Nick Rivers, a singer who’s asked to perform in East Germany and soon finds himself involved in a resistance movement. Highlights include a scene that takes place in a Swedish bookstore which was shot in reverse(!) and an underwater saloon fight. “How do we know he’s not Mel Tormé?”

The Terminator – Let’s pretend Piranha II doesn’t exist so we can label this James Cameron’s first movie. The Canadian truck driver-turned filmmaker reportedly had a nightmare about a killer robotic torso dragging itself from flames and the rest is (future) history. Starring as the titular Terminator is former Mr. Olympia Arnold Schwarzenegger, who quickly became the biggest star on the planet. This movie still works and the script by Cameron and producer Gale Anne Hurd is perfectly structured. There’s still a low-budget film school charm to this movie. Also an early hit for the late creature effects guru Stan Winston. Now if only we can get Cameron to leave Pandora. “I’ll be back.”

This is Spinal Tap – The ultimate mockumentary that chronicles the exploits of Spinal Tap, one of Europe’s “loudest bands.” Michael McKean, Harry Schearer, and Christopher Guest play David St. Hubbins, Derek Smalls, and Nigel Tufnel, and director Rob Reiner plays director “Marti Di Bergi” who’s documenting the release of the band’s latest album Smell the Glove. Audiences hated this movie upon its release; most of them didn’t know it was a parody. Billy Crystal, Fred Willard, Fran Drescher, the late Bruno Kirby, and Paul Shaffer make appearances and the music is actually pretty good! And many musicians including (but not limited to) Dee Snider, Jimmy Page, Ozzy Osbourne, Tom Waits, and Eddie Van Halen all thought the film hit way too close to home. “These go to eleven.”

Also: Body Double, The Bounty, both Breakin' movies!, Broadway Danny Rose, Children of the Corn, Conan the Destroyer, Dune, Footloose, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, The Last Starfighter, The Muppets Take Manhattan, The Natural, Night of the Comet, Police Academy, Purple Rain, Romancing the Stone, Splash, Starman, and Supergirl.

Will 2014 prove to be as memorable?

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Movie Rewind: Where Were You in ’83?

by ScottDS

1983 might not be quite the banner year that 1982 was but there are still some classic films to be found, along with a few merely average films we still remember, and a couple of bombs best forgotten. (The following list – heavy on the genre stuff – in no way constitutes a “best of” compilation!)

Twilight Zone: The Movie – I’ve had a morbid fascination with this multi-segmented film for years. Steven Spielberg’s “Kick the Can” is cheesy, Joe Dante’s “It’s a Good Life” is bizarre but effective, and George Miller’s “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet” might be a mini-masterpiece, though the original episode on which it’s based is more ambiguous regarding the nature of the creature on the wing. And then there’s John Landis’ “Time Out,” based on his own original story. Actor Vic Morrow and two child extras were killed when a helicopter crashed on the set. Landis and four others were found not guilty of involuntary manslaughter in 1987. See more here. “You wanna see something really scary?”

A Christmas Story – A modern classic that was mostly ignored upon its release, this film tells the story of 9-year old Ralphie who just wants a Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas. It’s mainly a collection of vignettes set around the holidays in 1940s Indiana, based on the autobiographical short stories of Jean Shepherd who also narrates. Darren McGavin steals the show as “the Old Man” and many gags have now entered the pop culture lexicon, from the leg lamp to “Fra-JEE-lay” to “Fa-ra-ra-ra-ra…” I can see why this film might grate on people (the repetitive TV airings don’t help) but it’s all harmless fun. “Oooh fuuudge!” (Sadly, director Bob Clark and his son were killed by a drunk driver/illegal immigrant in 2007.)

Jaws 3-D – This film might’ve had potential had the studio gone ahead with its original plan: a spoof titled Jaws 3, People 0. Instead, we got this film, directed by Jaws production designer Joe Alves. It was one of many films in the 80s to revive 3-D technology and the results are laughable at best. A baby shark is captured at Sea World, but unfortunately the shark’s mother is after it. Dennis Quaid (!) plays Mike Brody (son of Roy Scheider’s character) and Bess Armstrong plays a marine biologist, but really, who cares? Louis Gossett Jr. chews the scenery as park manager Calvin Bouchard and be on the lookout for Simon MacCorkindale (Manimal himself) as a shark hunter and a young Lea Thompson as a water skier. “You're talkin' about some damn shark's mother?”

Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life – For some reason, this seems to be my favorite Monty Python film. It begins with Terry Gilliam’s short film The Crimson Permanent Assurance and along the way, we meet (ugh) the ridiculously fat Mr. Creosote, the Grim Reaper, the machine that goes “bing!” and we sing along to “Every Sperm is Sacred” and “The Galaxy Song.” Like any sketch film, some segments are funnier than others – if you’re not laughing, just wait five minutes. “Englishmen! You're all so f---ing pompous! None of you have got any balls.”

National Lampoon’s Vacation – The classic comedy that introduced us to the Griswold family, directed by Harold Ramis and written by John Hughes, based on his National Lampoon short story "Vacation '58." Clark Griswold is hellbent on getting his family to Walley World and he’s not going to let anything stop him, including vandals, a lack of funds, a dead dog, a dead aunt, and a park that ends up being closed for repairs. Chevy Chase is excellent in one of his signature roles, Beverly D’Angelo gives as good as she gets as Clark’s long-suffering wife, and Randy Quaid and Imogene Coca steal the show as Cousin Eddie and Aunt Edna, respectively. “This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun.”

Never Say Never Again – James Bond’s unofficial brother from another mother. The story behind this Thunderball remake could fill several volumes. In short, Ian Fleming had once collaborated with writer/producer Kevin McClory who later claimed rights to certain elements. Sean Connery was convinced to return as Bond and he seems to be enjoying himself. Barbara Carrera is a blast as femme fatale Fatima Blush while Kim Basinger is merely okay as Domino. Klaus Maria Brandauer plays the villainous Largo but comes across as more of a middle manager at Initech. The film is… okay, but it looks bland. Hard to believe it was directed by Irvin Kershner who directed the best (and best-looking) Star Wars film just a few years earlier. “I hope we're going to see some gratuitous sex and violence in this one!”

The Outsiders – I wonder if English teachers still show this film to students. I must’ve seen it three grades in a row. Francis Ford Coppola directs this adaptation of S.E. Hinton’s novel (written when she was in high school). Amazingly, he was compelled to direct it after a group of Fresno middle school students wrote to him about it. It tells the story of two gangs: the rough and tumble Greasers and the wealthy Socs (pronounced “sowsh-es”). This film is notable for its cast of young up-and-comers, including Patrick Swayze, Matt Dillon, Tom Cruise, Rob Lowe, and Diane Lane. “Let's do it for Johnny, man!”

The Right Stuff – If there’s such a thing as a quintessentially “American” epic, this is it. Adapted by Philip Kaufman from Tom Wolfe’s non-fiction book about the early days of our manned space program, this film features two plots running in parallel: the early adventures of the Mercury Seven and the trials and tribulations of Chuck Yeager. The all-star cast (including Dennis Quaid, Fred Ward, Ed Harris, Scott Glenn, and Sam Shepard) is excellent, many of the flying effects still hold up, and there’s just a wonderful old-fashioned sense of bravado and derring-do on display. “No bucks, no Buck Rodgers.”

Return of the Jedi – The final Star Wars film, at least until George Lucas started work on the prequels a decade later. Looking back, this film is certainly better than its reputation suggests though all the warning signs were there, too, including a few too many “cutesy” moments and a preponderance of critters for the kids. It also drags a bit in the middle. However, the Luke/Emperor scenes are still some of the best in the saga, the visual effects are excellent for their day, John Williams’ score is perfect, and at the end of the day, the father is redeemed by the son. “Many Bothans died to bring us this information.”

Scarface – I finally watched Brian DePalma’s Grand Guignol story for the first time in film school… and I liked it! It tells the story of Tony Montana, a Cuban refugee who comes to Miami in 1980 and becomes a drug kingpin during the cocaine boom. This movie… it’s over the top and decadent but in the end, Tony reaps what he sows. Al Pacino is a force of nature and the rest of the cast (including Steven Bauer, Robert Loggia, F. Murray Abraham, and a young Michelle Pfeiffer) is pretty good, too. This film has since taken on a life of its own and is very popular among the hip-hop community. (God, I’m so white.) “Don’t get high on your own supply.”

Superman III – For whatever reason, this film is still fun to watch, though the opening slapstick montage is just ridiculous and the final battle is even weirder. Christopher Reeve once again gives it his all as both the Man of Steel and Clark Kent, who goes back to Smallville for his high school reunion and spends time with Lana Lang (Annette O’Toole). Margot Kidder only appears in the opening and closing ten minutes but the film is probably best known for Richard Pryor’s role as schlub computer programmer Gus Gorman who is blackmailed by his new boss, evil industrialist Lex – I mean, Ross Webster (a slithering Robert Vaughn). The fight scene between “good Clark” and “bad Superman” is probably the best part and Gorman’s embezzlement scheme was later used in Office Space. “Never underestimate the power of computers.”

Sudden Impact – Clint Eastwood directs the fourth film in the Dirty Harry franchise which features his then-girlfriend Sondra Locke as a rape victim exacting revenge on her aggressors in the town of San Paulo. This is actually my favorite Dirty Harry sequel and Eastwood gives it a nice stylistic touch. Some familiar face show up, including Pat Hingle as a police chief who knows more than he lets on and this film introduced us to Dirty Harry’s other signature line: “Go ahead. Make my day.”

Curse of the Pink Panther – As talented as he was, I don’t think I can forgive Blake Edwards for continuing the Pink Panther series after the death of Peter Sellers. The previous film consisted of Sellers outtakes from the other films and in this one, we’re introduced to bumbling American detective Clifton Sleigh (Ted Wass) who is hired to find Clouseau and the illusive Pink Panther diamond. This movie just isn’t funny but then again, I’ve always felt the other films tended to grind to a halt whenever Sellers or Herbert Lom weren’t on the screen. Brief highlights include appearances by series veterans David Niven and Robert Wagner along with the score by the ever-present Henry Mancini, not to mention a bizarre Roger Moore cameo.

Also: All the Right Moves, The Big Chill, Blue Thunder, Brainstorm, Christine, The Dead Zone, Doctor Detroit, Easy Money, Flashdance, The Hunger, Krull, Octopussy, Risky Business, Valley Girl, Trading Places, WarGames, Zelig, and Terms of Endearment.

Will 2013 prove to be as memorable? We’ll see…

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Movie Rewind: Where Were You in ’82?

By ScottDS

Along with 1939, 1982 is considered a banner year for Hollywood. Many films we now consider classics thirty years later (and a few we consider “guilty pleasures”) made their big screen premieres this year. Some struck box-office gold while others needed some time to be appreciated. Let’s take a look at a few members of the Class of 1982.

Blade Runner -- What more could possibly be said about Ridley Scott’s adaptation of Philip K. Dick’s story about replicant hunter (“blade runner”) Rick Deckard? The director clashed with crewmembers as well as Harrison Ford who, in turn, didn’t get along with Sean Young, and executives kept threatening to take the film away and recut it themselves. However, the film is visually stunning with details upon details threatening to overflow the frame, and features a stirring synth score by Vangelis, complex performances, an intelligent screenplay, and visual effects that still hold up to this day. Blade Runner was greeted with mixed reactions upon its release but found the fame it so deserved in the 90s with the discovery of an alternate cut. Ridley Scott later completed his Final Cut which you can find on DVD and Blu-Ray. “Wake up. Time to die!”

Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan -- Paramount brought in TV veteran Harve Bennett to produce a Trek sequel that wouldn’t cost as much as the first film. Bennett, in turn, brought in Nicholas Meyer, best known for his Sherlock Holmes novels. Cobbling together bits and pieces from other drafts (including terraforming, a son for Kirk, and a protégé for Spock), Meyer turned in a script in 12 days. Leonard Nimoy and the studio eventually had second thoughts about killing off Spock so an epilogue was filmed in which we see his torpedo-slash-casket on the surface of the Genesis planet, thus proving that, in Star Trek, no one is ever truly dead. This film also marked the debut of Kirstie Alley (as Lt. Saavik) and was the first Trek job for effects house Industrial Light & Magic while the nautically-inspired score put young composer James Horner on the map. “Aren’t you dead?”

Poltergeist -- This film, chronicling the Freeling family and the malevolent ghosts that abduct their youngest daughter, remains controversial to this day. The question of who really directed it – co-writer/producer Steven Spielberg or Tobe Hooper? – still hasn’t been answered to some folks’ satisfaction while others consider the so-called “Poltergeist curse”: among other things, the use of real cadavers as props and the untimely deaths of actresses Dominique Dunne (strangled by her boyfriend) and Heather O’Rourke (septic shock during production of the third film). However, the film is a modern horror classic with likable characters, an ethereal score by Jerry Goldsmith, and wonderfully old-school visual effects. This was Spielberg in full “popcorn mode” and he’s never been able to top the string of hits he produced in the 80s. “This house is clean.”

E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial -- Oh, how I wish I had been around for the craze surrounding this film, which became the highest-grossing movie of all time, holding the record for 11 years. The story of a lonely boy who befriends an alien, Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi classic was spawned from a couple different ideas he had been toying with, including a story about childhood and another about malevolent aliens who terrorize a family. The film has also been subject to myriad interpretations with some calling E.T. a Jesus figure and others labeling it a Jewish story: the ultimate immigrant’s tale. Of course, one group that was disappointed was Mars, who refused to let the filmmakers use M&M’s! Spielberg’s technical prowess is in top form as are his collaborators, specifically composer John Williams and creature effects guru Carlo Rambaldi. “Well, can’t he just beam up?”

Tron -- This film is the very definition of “ahead of its time.” After years in development, first-time director Steven Lisberger finally found a home at Disney for his far-out vision combining video games and computer graphics, which at the time were about as advanced as Pong. The end result is a visually dazzling tale of good versus evil, with Jeff Bridges and Bruce Boxleitner as our heroes, Cindy Morgan as the love interest, and the always-entertaining David Warner as the villain who seeks (virtual) world domination. Greeted with mild box-office and mixed critical reception, the film later became a cult hit and spawned a series of comics, merchandise, and a rather unnecessary sequel in 2010. Pixar chief John Lasseter pays the film the biggest compliment when he says, “Without Tron, there would be no Toy Story.” High praise, indeed. “Now that is a big door!”

Porky’s -- Writer/director Bob Clark’s film tells the story of a group of Florida teenagers intent on losing their virginity. After being humiliated by the owner of the titular club who promised them a good time in exchange for all their money, the boys plot their revenge. Along the way, they manage to spy on their female classmates in the shower and let’s just say one boy regrets this after the appropriately-named Ms. Balbricker intrudes on the scene. Truth be told, the film is rather uneven and many of the characters tend to blend together. There’s also a ham-handed racism subplot (with a Jewish boy mistakenly referred to as a “kite”) and many of the laughs seem to come from watching other characters laugh… but it’s all harmless fun. “Please, can we call it a ‘tallywhacker’?” (Sadly, Bob Clark and his son were killed by a drunk driver/illegal immigrant in 2007.)

Fast Times at Ridgemont High -- In 1981, a young writer named Cameron Crowe spent a year undercover in high school researching a book. He later adapted it for this film, which also marked the directing debut of Amy Heckerling. The film takes place within the span of a school year and introduces us to a variety of characters, including: stoned surfer Jeff Spicoli (Sean Penn in the role that even his critics enjoy); Stacy Hamilton (Jennifer Jason Leigh), who loses her virginity and, in a rather dark turn of events, gets an abortion; Stacy’s brother Brad (Judge Reinhold) who hates his humiliating fast food job and is caught in an embarrassing moment by Linda Barrett (Phoebe Cates), whose pool scene caused many VHS tapes to be constantly rewound and subsequently damaged. (Oh, and be on the lookout for a young Nicolas Cage!) “Aloha. My name is Mr. Hand.”

The Thing -- John Carpenter’s adaptation of the novella Who Goes There? (which also inspired Howard Hawks’ 1951 production of The Thing) is a cold, claustrophobic, extremely effective horror film. After a tepid reaction at the box-office, the film has become a modern cult classic. Kurt Russell leads an extremely likable cast of character actors, including Wilford Brimley, Keith David, Charles Hallahan, Richard Masur, and Richard Dysart – just Average Joes living a humdrum existence on the edge of civilization as an evil force unknowingly lurks within. Rob Bottin’s make-up effects (this was before CGI) still amaze and disgust after all these years and the film ends on an ambiguous note as our only surviving characters decide to “wait [and] see what happens.” Production values are all top-notch. “I just wanna get up to my shack and get drunk.”

Also: Conan the Barbarian, Deathtrap, The Dark Crystal, Das Boot, Death Wish II, Diner, First Blood, 48 Hours, Night Shift, An Officer and a Gentleman, Tootsie, The Verdict, and Gandhi.

Will 2012 prove to be as memorable? I hate to sound like a cynic. . . but I’m doubtful.

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