We interrupt this week's Great Film Debate to discuss an issue of great urgency. As many of you know by now, they have cast Ben Affleck as Batman in the upcoming movie Superman and Batman Get Funky. This must be a human rights violation of some sort and will probably be struck down in court. Still, let's assume Hollywood actually goes through with this. Tell us who you would cast in the other roles: Superman, Robin the Wonder Boy, the Jokester, Penny Lane, that dude, Al Bundy the Butler, those other people. Come on people, let's get this right! The world is freaking out!
Sunday, August 25, 2013
The Great (film) Debates vol. N/A
We interrupt this week's Great Film Debate to discuss an issue of great urgency. As many of you know by now, they have cast Ben Affleck as Batman in the upcoming movie Superman and Batman Get Funky. This must be a human rights violation of some sort and will probably be struck down in court. Still, let's assume Hollywood actually goes through with this. Tell us who you would cast in the other roles: Superman, Robin the Wonder Boy, the Jokester, Penny Lane, that dude, Al Bundy the Butler, those other people. Come on people, let's get this right! The world is freaking out!
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52 comments:
Let me be the first to go on record as saying that I am oddly comfortable with the idea of Affleck as Batman. I can't say why, but quite unexpectedly, I am at peace.
But I will also go on record to say, no, no, HELL no, Matt Damon should not play Robin. I don't care how funny anyone thinks it would be. But I would pay cash-money to see him resurrect King Tut.
Robin should be played by Asa Butterfield. It's past time Bruce's young ward was actually young.
Emma Stone can be Batgirl.
I thought what's-his-butt in Man of Steel was fine as Superman, even if he was completely overshadowed by Michael Shannon.
Nothing against Amy Adams, but she did not seem like Lois Lane to me. How about Rebecca Hall instead?
And, call me nuts, but I could absolutely see Seth Green pulling off an amazing Lex Luthor.
The problem with Seth Green is Austin Powers. You know that the whole time you would be thinking...
"Superman, I want... one million dollars!"
As for Affleck, personally, he just doesn't work for me. He lacks any ability to intimate. It's like casting Ryan Reynolds or Toby MacGuire or a Muppet.
They should cast Shia Labeouf as Superman. This would make Ben Afflict much more macho and hard core in comparison. Of course the rest of the cast would have to be metrosexuals as well.
But let's face it, this is Time Warner/DC comics version of superheros, which means that deep down they hate the concept and would do anything to get the whole genre off the screen ASAP.
= Nick Cage as superman.
tryanmax beat me to it. I don't mind Ben Affleck as Batman, he is a tall guy and if he works out a bit he could pull off the physically intimidating bit. And people do forget that he can act, his big issue being his choice in movies and his personal life overtaking his movie roles.
He can do the charming/smarmy well and that would be for Bruce and if you remember The Town, he be pull of the threatening Batman part too.
To me the quality of the movie will depend more on the script and direction then Ben Aflleck not being everyone's first choice to play Batman.
Saying all that I wouldn't say that there couldn't be a better choice in regards to casting. But remember, we all know that there could be a lot worse casting.
I'd stay with the same Superman to keep some continuity. I think they have to retire The Joker character from any future Batman movies Heath nailed it all others will suffer in comparison and bring the movie down.
Scott.
Remember those old black and white movies where someone would gwt bad news and they would reel around in a dizzy spell and then faint? That's what I did when I heard this. (Internally anyway) Then I read Scott's post and I thought "Hell yes The Joker's retired, nobody else can play him. So let's call our legislators and get Batman retired too. After Michael Keaton and Christian Bale Batman will simply be dishonored by anyone else. It's like reissuing retired jersey numbers.
But then I thought,consevatives/libertarians don't run to their legislators,they believe in the free market. So here it is - let's take a collection,buy the copyrights to Batman and the Joker,and retire them.
And yes, in case you're wondering,this was tongue in cheek, :) But,hell,like Jim Kirk said in Mirror,Mirror, "In every revolution there's one man with a vision!" Freeeeeeeedooooommmm!
GypsyTyger
Andrew, it took awhile for me to fully appreciate the comment on Seth Green. I probably shoulda mentioned that I'm envisioning the Lex Luthor with hair, not the bald Kevin Spacey version.
People had similar reactions to Michael Keaton as Batman. Hell, people had similar reactions to Daniel Craig as James Bond. They both were able to overcome their critics and doubters by actually, ya know, acting. Kilmer and Clooney didn't seem to face as much criticism for their parts because, let's face it, no one was expecting much due to the gawdawfulness of Batman Returns. (I walked out when Michelle Pfeiffer observed that she had been saved by kitty litter. If Burton et al had that much contempt for their audience and the source material, I didn't want to stick around to see how bad it was going to get.)
If he were picking up the Cape and Cowl from Clooney, or if he would be part of an ensemble cast in a "Justice League" adventure, I don't think he'd be facing this level of backlash. But Christian Bale and Christopher Nolan set the bar too high for someone of Affleck's mediocre talents to overcome. If they wanted to make it interesting, the producers could have cast Tom Welling as Batman/Bruce Wayne. As it stands now, and considering how bad the last half hour of Man of Steel was, I have no interest in seeing what they're going to do to this particular franchise. I'd much rather watch the "World's Finest Superman/Batman" fan trailer on YouTube. (I'd embed the link, but that's beyond my meager HTML skills.)
Dave, is THIS what you are referring to?
K, Shia Labeouf... yeah, that made my morning. LOL!
Scott, There definitely could be worse, but Affleck just doesn't have the gravitas to me.
That said, you're right that the quality of the film will depend on the script and not Affleck.
The Joker probably is retired. But don't be surprised if someone thinks of Seth MacFarlane as the Riddler.
tryanmax: Yup
GypsyTyger, LOL! Nice description!
Could you imagine? We take up a collection to retire the character. We could call ourselves the Comic Preservation Society. Actually, we should pretend we are liberals and demand that the government buy them up to preserve them... like state parks.
In any event, this was a shocking decision to me too and I don't even have much of an attachment to the character. It just seems almost like they are taunting the fans.
tryanmax, LOL! I'm glad you got it. It made me think of poor bald Scott with his pinky in his mouth demanding one million dollars from Superman.
In truth, the guy who would probably work well as Luthor would be Matt Damon, but he's poison. So how about Vin Diesel?
Dave, Keaton definitely had to overcome doubt, but he did a great job of it. So Affleck probably can too, especially as he won't need to carry the movie himself.
That said, it's going to be really hard for him because of the comparison to Bale, who really captured the character. So I think there is a high likelihood people will criticize this movie because of him. Still, his film is going to be huge. Bringing together these two characters should create the biggest buzz since Star Wars is my guess. And I expect this could easily be one of the quickest film to make it to a billion dollars.
I would've liked to see Adam Baldwin get the nod as batman (or superman).
He definitely has the gravitas for it.
I don't thnk Affleck is a bad actor but he's just not very compelling.
However, Affleck would probably make a good aquaman or some other second or third tier superhero (plastic man? LOL).
Ben, I agree about Affleck. I don't think he's a bad actor, he just isn't right for the part. In fact, Batman strikes me as everything Affleck is not.
BTW, I just read that they have cast Brian Cranston (Breaking Bad) as Lex Luthor.
Good choice for Luthor!
I'm ok with it... but it doesn't blow me away. I think there are better, but there are a LOT worse too and, overall, I think he's a decent choice and will do well.
Personally, I'd think about firing my casting agent at this point. That's a single and a strike out so far.
Sammy Davis, Jr. as Robin. Sure, I know he's dead, but he's got the other necessary attributes. Besides, I've already decided on George Reeves as the Man of Steel so why let something as trivial as being dead hold up the show. I want Oprah either as Lois Lane, Ma Kent, or Lex Luthor, cuz she is smokin' hot coming of "The Butler.". Actually, let's stick with Ma Kent, because that let's us run with a nifty little pc multi-racial twist. It also opens up the "Lois Lane" slot for Soledad who brings in some hispanic flavor, journalist chops that cannot be denied, and is also smokin' hot (kinda, sorta ... in a way ...kinda.) Let's trot out Richie (Duddie Kravitz) as Pa Kettle. I mean Pa Kent. If nothing else, he'd be dynamite doing the voice over for the "making of" documentary extra for the #D, DVD, Blu-Ray, digital copy disc. Cool- o!!!! How about Kevin Spacey as Alfred the Butler. He's kinda British now, so that would capitalize on the buzz that Downton Abbey is bringing. Unless, maybe we could get Forest Whitaker (didn't he recently play a butler? If so, we know he would have the chops. How about Arnold Schwarzeneggar as Perry White. They both smoke cigars, and I think "the guvernator" could say "don't all me chief" like he actually means it. Lastly, I want Matt Damon as Jimmy Olson. Come on, people ..... you know he OWNS THAT ROLE!
Solead O'Brian in case there was any doubt
Richie Dreyfuss. Damn, my keyboard skills on these little miniature gadgets are definitely slipping ;)
Jed, LOL! I'll call the estate of Mr. Davis Jr. and see if he's free. :P
I like the idea of Oprah as Louis Lane.
Why not just call Affleck Moonbatman? Then he wouldn't hafta act.
Cranston as Lex seems like an incredibly safe move, as in, here's a choice that won't piss anybody off.
I don't like it. I enjoy it when Clark and Lex are contemporaries with a long history. Cranston is old enough to be what's-his-butt's father.
On the upside, he could play either bald Lex, redhead Lex, or both.
I would agree with that, it's a single on a bunt. There's no courage in the choice, no statement, no particular style. Safe, but also dull.
Ben, LOL! We'd need to cast Matt Damon as Moonbatman. Then we could cast Sean Penn as Captain Anti-America!
LOL. Quick, trade mark those names, Andrew.
K, The problem with doing anything with Captain Anti-America and Moonbatman is that their enemies are all in their imaginations.
Just like Don Quixote, and that story seemed to work out pretty well. :)
True. I could see the Bat and the Captain bursting into a Tea Party meeting looking to stop racism and running straight into a group of black Tea Party types. Then they race off to a warehouse with a million Bush era documents and they search for proof that the US wanted Iraqi oil... and the only thing they find is an email in which Cheney says he needs to get the oil changed in his car. LOL!
Of course, both scenes end with them declaring the conspiracy "even deeper than we ever imagined!"
In the first place, I object to them already rebooting Batman in the first place. It'll have only been three years; the decent thing to do would be to wait at least twice that long, but no. Hollywood decided that since The Avengers made eleventy billion dollars, there needed to be a Justice League too. Groan.
As far as Affleck is concerned, I don't dislike him, at least not in comparison to some other actors. But I don't think he's especially talented, and I definitely can't picture him as Bruce Wayne/Batman. But of course, you never know--remember how many people thought casting Heath Ledger as the Joker was a ridiculous move?
On the other hand, while casting Cranston as Lex Luthor may not be the boldest move ever, I can easily see him in that role, so I don't mind it. It's kind of on the same lines as casting Michael Caine as Alfred; makes a lot of sense and is kind of reassuring.
So...Daredevil as Batman? First, J.J. Abrams taking over 'Star Trek,' Then, J.J. Abrams taking 'Star Wars.' Now this.
Okay, it's official: I've lost the will to live.
Meesa tinking de meestakes of de past ain't so embarrassing no more. Oh, God... what have I been reduced to?
I mean, what's next? Casting Reb Brown- "Space Mutiny's" Dave Ryder himself- as Captain America? Oh, wait. No, no, no... it already happened!
Um, if you guys need me, I'll be sitting in the corner watching unriffed versions of 'Monster-a-Go-Go' and 'Manos: the Hands of Fate.' After all this, maybe that experience- by comparison- won't be as bad as most people claim it'll be.
Rustbelt, Don't do it! Unriffed, those movies can kill you! :P
"What makes Manos: The Hands of Fate noteworthy is that every aspect of it is badly done. Writing, directing, acting, cinematography, sound, lighting, sets, costumes, music, plot, character -- it's all inept and worthless. With most bad movies, at least you can tell professionals were making it. I'll tell you who should see this movie without the "MST3K" hecklings: film students. They need to see what evil can be unleashed when they are careless, lazy, or on cocaine."
-from the MST3K Wiki
OK, OK. I won't do it. I guess there are some things in this world that are worse than Mr. Jennifer Garner pretending to be a real man... in tights.
So, for now, let's just watch happy things.
Rustbelt, Very true. Manos is a film that does absolutely nothing well. It's almost like someone set out to say, "Let's seriously see how wrong we can get it and see if that turns out cool."
Andrew, the truly scary part about 'Manos' is that the director- a fertilizer salesman, no less- was actually trying to make a GOOD horror movie. (And on a bet with with Stirling Siliphant to boot!)
I've been to several sites to find what the deal was behind 'Manos' since first seeing its MST3K treatment. And there is plenty of information out there. That leads me to my next pondering:
Why are we so fascinated with cinematic failure? People seem to be just as hungry for info about "The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed-Up Zombies," as they are about "The Godfather."
Do we want to know how not to screw up? Do we just enjoy sadistically laughing at others' expense? Are oddball offerings such as these so unbelievably inept that we need verification that they are, in fact, the work of human beings?- in other words, can we really mess up that bad?
The world may never know.
Last comment on Keaton: He wasn't the star of that film, and we all know it. Even the movie posters gave Jack Nicholson top billing. His absence was one of about 823 reasons that Batman Returns was so awful. (And no, they couldn't have brought him back from the dead. This ain't the Marvel universe, people.)
On the other hand, if they really go through with Assfleck as The Moody Introspective Knight, and if they have Joseph Gordon-Levitt reprise his role as The Cop Who Wants To Do More, they have the perfect casting for The Ambiguously Gay Duo. Er, I mean Batman and Robin.
Rustbelt, I have an answer for you.
Human beings are creatures that are designed to investigate the world around them and classify the things they find. That is how we learn. That is the basis of human progress and things like science. It's a compulsion for us.
The strongest "data" comes from failure. The second strongest "data" comes from success. There is very little data from a middling result. That's why people are fascinating by success and failure, they want to understand why something is.
The Ambiguously Gay Duo. LOL! They should cast Micheal Douglas and Matt Damon and have them repeat their Liberace characters.
Andrew said: "The strongest data comes from failure."
Very true. Something tells me we'll be collecting much data in the near future when Mr. Jennifer Garner dons the Cape and Bat Anti-Shark Repellent (which, I'm told, prevents one from jumping).
After all, it's just a movie. We really should just relax. Shouldn't we?
(nervous, uncertain chuckle)
Rustbelt, My favorite line from the "real" Batman movie: "Some days, you just can't get rid of a bomb."
Actually, I think the new film will be a massive hit, whether it's good or not.
"Some days, you just can't get rid of a bomb."
-Also spoken by many a Best Buy and Target electronics employee when last summer's "blockbusters" finally hit the DVD shelves.
So, so true.
I don't know enough about Batman to have any strong feelings about Ben Affleck as Batman. It strikes me as an odd casting, but I don't see why it has to be terrible. I am quite sure I won't like it as much as the Nolan movies with Christian Bale, but then, I really liked those movies!
Have to say, though, that I agree with T-Rav: Didn't we just have a Batman movie last year???
After extensive surgery and therapy, our pre-Obamacare medical experts have managed to save the 2/3rds of my brain not affected by this news and they tell me it has scarred over so very nicely that I am able to address the concept of a superhero movie where the man who killed my childhood idol, Daredevil, plays my backup idol, Batman.
Therefore I wish to seriously address Andrew's charge.
Good Guys:
Superman – Chris Hemsworth
Jimmy Olsen - Damian Lewis
Robin – Any high school running back. (Nobody cares who Robin is, anyway)
Bad Guys (And this movie needs LOTS of Bad Guys):
Catwoman – Lena Headley (sigh)
Joker – Jack Nicholsen (Who’s afraid of Keith Ledger? Not Jack!)
Harley Quinn – Ronda Rousey (Let’s have an actress who’s actually built for fighting!)
Hugo Strange – Jeff Bridges
Solomon Grundy – Gerard Butler
Captain Stingaree – Johnny Depp (I never liked Stingaree, but I'm not so fond of Depp, so it works!)
Batzarro – Andrew Price (He da anti-Affleck!)
goldvermilion, Perhaps this is the first in a new era of yearly reboots until we all go insane?
KRS, I'm glad they could salvage your brain. LOL! I'd make an awesome Batzarro. Affleck would never know what hit him! :P
KRS's comment gave me an idea: GERARD BUTLER as Batman.
Or Tom Hardy. (Because if we're rebooting Batman one year later, I don't think it should matter if Batman played opposite Batman already.)
goldvermilion, Butler would be a great choice. I would like Hardy as well.
"Superman, I want... one million dollars!"
Erm, Dr Evil, a million dollars is not a lot of money these days. Lexcorp in an average year makes a billion dollars
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