Movie Rewind: Where Were You in ’83?

by ScottDS

1983 might not be quite the banner year that 1982 was but there are still some classic films to be found, along with a few merely average films we still remember, and a couple of bombs best forgotten. (The following list – heavy on the genre stuff – in no way constitutes a “best of” compilation!)

Twilight Zone: The Movie – I’ve had a morbid fascination with this multi-segmented film for years. Steven Spielberg’s “Kick the Can” is cheesy, Joe Dante’s “It’s a Good Life” is bizarre but effective, and George Miller’s “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet” might be a mini-masterpiece, though the original episode on which it’s based is more ambiguous regarding the nature of the creature on the wing. And then there’s John Landis’ “Time Out,” based on his own original story. Actor Vic Morrow and two child extras were killed when a helicopter crashed on the set. Landis and four others were found not guilty of involuntary manslaughter in 1987. See more here. “You wanna see something really scary?”

A Christmas Story – A modern classic that was mostly ignored upon its release, this film tells the story of 9-year old Ralphie who just wants a Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas. It’s mainly a collection of vignettes set around the holidays in 1940s Indiana, based on the autobiographical short stories of Jean Shepherd who also narrates. Darren McGavin steals the show as “the Old Man” and many gags have now entered the pop culture lexicon, from the leg lamp to “Fra-JEE-lay” to “Fa-ra-ra-ra-ra…” I can see why this film might grate on people (the repetitive TV airings don’t help) but it’s all harmless fun. “Oooh fuuudge!” (Sadly, director Bob Clark and his son were killed by a drunk driver/illegal immigrant in 2007.)

Jaws 3-D – This film might’ve had potential had the studio gone ahead with its original plan: a spoof titled Jaws 3, People 0. Instead, we got this film, directed by Jaws production designer Joe Alves. It was one of many films in the 80s to revive 3-D technology and the results are laughable at best. A baby shark is captured at Sea World, but unfortunately the shark’s mother is after it. Dennis Quaid (!) plays Mike Brody (son of Roy Scheider’s character) and Bess Armstrong plays a marine biologist, but really, who cares? Louis Gossett Jr. chews the scenery as park manager Calvin Bouchard and be on the lookout for Simon MacCorkindale (Manimal himself) as a shark hunter and a young Lea Thompson as a water skier. “You're talkin' about some damn shark's mother?”

Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life – For some reason, this seems to be my favorite Monty Python film. It begins with Terry Gilliam’s short film The Crimson Permanent Assurance and along the way, we meet (ugh) the ridiculously fat Mr. Creosote, the Grim Reaper, the machine that goes “bing!” and we sing along to “Every Sperm is Sacred” and “The Galaxy Song.” Like any sketch film, some segments are funnier than others – if you’re not laughing, just wait five minutes. “Englishmen! You're all so f---ing pompous! None of you have got any balls.”

National Lampoon’s Vacation – The classic comedy that introduced us to the Griswold family, directed by Harold Ramis and written by John Hughes, based on his National Lampoon short story "Vacation '58." Clark Griswold is hellbent on getting his family to Walley World and he’s not going to let anything stop him, including vandals, a lack of funds, a dead dog, a dead aunt, and a park that ends up being closed for repairs. Chevy Chase is excellent in one of his signature roles, Beverly D’Angelo gives as good as she gets as Clark’s long-suffering wife, and Randy Quaid and Imogene Coca steal the show as Cousin Eddie and Aunt Edna, respectively. “This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun.”

Never Say Never Again – James Bond’s unofficial brother from another mother. The story behind this Thunderball remake could fill several volumes. In short, Ian Fleming had once collaborated with writer/producer Kevin McClory who later claimed rights to certain elements. Sean Connery was convinced to return as Bond and he seems to be enjoying himself. Barbara Carrera is a blast as femme fatale Fatima Blush while Kim Basinger is merely okay as Domino. Klaus Maria Brandauer plays the villainous Largo but comes across as more of a middle manager at Initech. The film is… okay, but it looks bland. Hard to believe it was directed by Irvin Kershner who directed the best (and best-looking) Star Wars film just a few years earlier. “I hope we're going to see some gratuitous sex and violence in this one!”

The Outsiders – I wonder if English teachers still show this film to students. I must’ve seen it three grades in a row. Francis Ford Coppola directs this adaptation of S.E. Hinton’s novel (written when she was in high school). Amazingly, he was compelled to direct it after a group of Fresno middle school students wrote to him about it. It tells the story of two gangs: the rough and tumble Greasers and the wealthy Socs (pronounced “sowsh-es”). This film is notable for its cast of young up-and-comers, including Patrick Swayze, Matt Dillon, Tom Cruise, Rob Lowe, and Diane Lane. “Let's do it for Johnny, man!”

The Right Stuff – If there’s such a thing as a quintessentially “American” epic, this is it. Adapted by Philip Kaufman from Tom Wolfe’s non-fiction book about the early days of our manned space program, this film features two plots running in parallel: the early adventures of the Mercury Seven and the trials and tribulations of Chuck Yeager. The all-star cast (including Dennis Quaid, Fred Ward, Ed Harris, Scott Glenn, and Sam Shepard) is excellent, many of the flying effects still hold up, and there’s just a wonderful old-fashioned sense of bravado and derring-do on display. “No bucks, no Buck Rodgers.”

Return of the Jedi – The final Star Wars film, at least until George Lucas started work on the prequels a decade later. Looking back, this film is certainly better than its reputation suggests though all the warning signs were there, too, including a few too many “cutesy” moments and a preponderance of critters for the kids. It also drags a bit in the middle. However, the Luke/Emperor scenes are still some of the best in the saga, the visual effects are excellent for their day, John Williams’ score is perfect, and at the end of the day, the father is redeemed by the son. “Many Bothans died to bring us this information.”

Scarface – I finally watched Brian DePalma’s Grand Guignol story for the first time in film school… and I liked it! It tells the story of Tony Montana, a Cuban refugee who comes to Miami in 1980 and becomes a drug kingpin during the cocaine boom. This movie… it’s over the top and decadent but in the end, Tony reaps what he sows. Al Pacino is a force of nature and the rest of the cast (including Steven Bauer, Robert Loggia, F. Murray Abraham, and a young Michelle Pfeiffer) is pretty good, too. This film has since taken on a life of its own and is very popular among the hip-hop community. (God, I’m so white.) “Don’t get high on your own supply.”

Superman III – For whatever reason, this film is still fun to watch, though the opening slapstick montage is just ridiculous and the final battle is even weirder. Christopher Reeve once again gives it his all as both the Man of Steel and Clark Kent, who goes back to Smallville for his high school reunion and spends time with Lana Lang (Annette O’Toole). Margot Kidder only appears in the opening and closing ten minutes but the film is probably best known for Richard Pryor’s role as schlub computer programmer Gus Gorman who is blackmailed by his new boss, evil industrialist Lex – I mean, Ross Webster (a slithering Robert Vaughn). The fight scene between “good Clark” and “bad Superman” is probably the best part and Gorman’s embezzlement scheme was later used in Office Space. “Never underestimate the power of computers.”

Sudden Impact – Clint Eastwood directs the fourth film in the Dirty Harry franchise which features his then-girlfriend Sondra Locke as a rape victim exacting revenge on her aggressors in the town of San Paulo. This is actually my favorite Dirty Harry sequel and Eastwood gives it a nice stylistic touch. Some familiar face show up, including Pat Hingle as a police chief who knows more than he lets on and this film introduced us to Dirty Harry’s other signature line: “Go ahead. Make my day.”

Curse of the Pink Panther – As talented as he was, I don’t think I can forgive Blake Edwards for continuing the Pink Panther series after the death of Peter Sellers. The previous film consisted of Sellers outtakes from the other films and in this one, we’re introduced to bumbling American detective Clifton Sleigh (Ted Wass) who is hired to find Clouseau and the illusive Pink Panther diamond. This movie just isn’t funny but then again, I’ve always felt the other films tended to grind to a halt whenever Sellers or Herbert Lom weren’t on the screen. Brief highlights include appearances by series veterans David Niven and Robert Wagner along with the score by the ever-present Henry Mancini, not to mention a bizarre Roger Moore cameo.

Also: All the Right Moves, The Big Chill, Blue Thunder, Brainstorm, Christine, The Dead Zone, Doctor Detroit, Easy Money, Flashdance, The Hunger, Krull, Octopussy, Risky Business, Valley Girl, Trading Places, WarGames, Zelig, and Terms of Endearment.

Will 2013 prove to be as memorable? We’ll see…