Friday, November 16, 2012

No Film Today... (no refunds)

Sorry folks, there will be no film today on account of the attempted murder of the site's founder by a cold bug. Rest assured that the bug has been apprehended and is currently being Robitussin-boarded in the hopes of finding all of its accomplices.

32 comments:

Commander Max said...

So that's what happened, I've been sitting in this theater for over an hour.
Where did you leave the key to unlock the doors?

Get better Andrew.

Floyd R. Turbo said...

A cold? Cold? So then let's review The Odd Couple in favor of Andrew "Felix Unger" Price! ;-)

Get well Andrew! At least you got it out of the way before the holiday.

BIG MO said...

To get back on your feet quickly I suggest chicken noodle soup and nonstop marathons of "Cop Rock", "The View" and "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians." If those don't get you moving again out of pure nausea / sheer terror / urge to anihilate your TV...

Feel better, friend.

ScottDS said...

Andrew, you know you can always e-mail me when you're ill and I can do my best to whip up a review. I do have a couple ideas in the hopper - they just need to be written. :-)

darski said...

Be well Andrew... we need you here <3

AndrewPrice said...

Max, the key is under the popcorn machine in the concession area. ;)

AndrewPrice said...

Floyd, This cold sucks. And it seems to be a good deal stronger than all the medicine I'm taking. :(

Big Mo, That would do it! Or it would drive me insane... not sure which. I can't stand watching the View like when I'm waiting at the doctor's office or whatever. Blech.

AndrewPrice said...

Scott, I started a review, but it just got to be too much yesterday, so there wasn't really much notice. Next time I'll e-mail you though. :)


Thanks darski! :)

rlaWTX said...

You're letting a little ole cold getcha down??? :)
Get well soon and enjoy the drug-induced stupor while you can...

We're supposed to be going to see Skyfall this weekend. DCraig - yum.

It's the People's Choice Awards voting time - go check it out!

NOT going to see Twilight part 82!

Send up some prayers for the families and other victims of the train tragedy in Midland yesterday (if you've missed the news, there's a link in the comments of T-Rav's article on the Politics page).

AndrewPrice said...

rlaWTX, I wish I could enjoy the drugged up stupor, but they are making it harder to get the good stuff these days. I'm starting to think all the cold medicine they sell now is just colored water. :(

I heard about the train. Best wishes to everyone who was hurt.

Good choice to avoid Twilight. :)

T-Rav said...

I'd like to go see Skyfall in the near future. Everyone says it's good, and Adele's song for it is pretty awesome. Maybe over Thanksgiving.

tryanmax said...

I agree, I do like Adele's song. It's probably one of the better Bond songs, and she totally has the voice for it. My favorite Bond song remains "Live and Let Die," however.

rlaWTX said...

tryanmax - how goes the Hostess hording???

BIG MO said...

Ah, yes: "Twilight": a choice between necrophilia and beastiality.

I put garlic around my TV to ward off the insipid spirits of "Twilight," but somehow they got through. Last night local media here in STL had a breathless report about the "Twilight" premier, including a 24-year-old woman celebrating her birthday at the theater & gushing that it was the best birthday ever !!!!! Uh-huh.

Anyone remember when vampires were bad instead of weepy angst-filled squishes? Where's Buffy when we need her?

T-Rav said...

Big Mo, apparently the lead chick is (un)dead too now, so that makes it okay, I guess.

For the record, did anybody here see the previous Twilight movie? I didn't, but last weekend I was reading an article on creepiest horror kids and found a brief summary of the birth of Edward and Bella's daughter. HOLY @#$%, there are no words to describe how f@#$ed up that all is.

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav and Big Mo, After seeing the first one, I have forever sworn off the rest. Bleeeech. My brain couldn't take the pain of seeing more than one of those in my life.

tryanmax said...

rlaWTX, see my comment on yesterday's post.

T-Rav said...

Then by all means, let me summarize it for y'all. (spoiler alert)

So Breaking Dawn: Part 1, from what I've put together, is basically about Edward and Bella getting married, and she gets knocked up in short order. (Given that vampires are technically dead, I would have thought their sperm are dead also, but the whole vampire thing defies logic and science anyway, so I'll give them a pass on that--barely.) Surprisingly, the whole mixture-of-vampire-and-human thing means the pregnancy is not exactly a normal one, to the extent that the rapidly growing baby starts tearing her insides apart, and when it comes time for childbirth, she's basically dying (hooray). So Edward--and I think I have this right--starts tearing open her abdomen with his teeth so he can pluck out the baby before it dies as well. Yeah, this was in the movie, which was directed at teen and pre-teen girls, right??? Anyway, so at that point he bites Bella and turns her into a vampire, so she doesn't become dead-dead. Just mostly dead.

Also, their baby girl grows at a really rapid rate, so in a matter of months she's like an eight-year-old or something, and also, at the time of her birth, the werewolf guy Jacob "imprinted" on her, whatever that is, so apparently once she grows all the way up she's going to become the love of his life.

All of which makes me think Stephanie Meyer, at the time of writing the book this all comes from, must have become the first victim of bath salts. I see literally no other explanation for the existence of this story.

tryanmax said...

Okay, just from your summary, I can spot all sorts of things that would normally be pissing the feminists off. But I'm guessing that since Stephanie Meyer is a woman, it's all understood.

rlaWTX said...

yeah, it was a weird book... I have resisted the movies.

AndrewPrice said...

As a reminder, if anybody wants to know my feeling on the Twilight films, my review pretty much sums it up: Really Really Bad Crappola.

rlaWTX said...

tryanmax, congrats on the reincorporealization!

Oh, and going to read the Ghost's comments reminded me about Papa John's Day! Thanks!!!

have y'all seen the fb pic that's going around:
"Edward isn't a vampire. He lives in a forest. He doesn't eat people, and he sparkles. He is obviously a FAIRY!"

BIG MO said...

Hey, Andrew - looks like you got a movie review after all. Or is this an "anti-review" :) :)

Folks have made some great demotivational posters about Twilight ripping on its supposed "love story." One of my favorites shows a salt shaker and pepper shaker, with the caption:

"Still a better love story than Twilight."

T-Rav said...

Big Mo, I think "anti-review" is probably the best way to put it. :-)

In all seriousness, they are just awful movies.

ScottDS said...

So I saw Skyfall last weekend...

...and I feel it would've worked better as Pierce Brosnan's last Bond film instead of Daniel Craig's third film.

I think the franchise has painted itself into a corner:

-They go to the trouble of "rebooting" the franchise and now, three films later, the characters are wondering if they're too old, if spying is still worth it, etc.

-Whenever the filmmakers go big, fans want them to go back to basics but whenever they go back to basics, fans want them to go big again... I imagine it's tough to find a happy medium

-I'm sure I'm not alone here but the Bond films exist in their own universe... he's been played by multiple actors, he was married once and this was referenced in two subsequent films with two different actors... I find it best not to think too hard about certain things

Anyway, this film had some major plot holes. A shame since it's perfectly entertaining and Sam Mendes' direction is excellent.

The film might be the best looking Bond film ever (shot by the great Roger Deakins). The art direction, the editing, the music... everything is top notch but the script could've used one more draft.

shawn said...

Get well soon andrew.

Regarding a cold: make sure your cough syrup has dextromethorphan in it. That is the active ingredient that is a cough suppressant. Otherwise, cough syrup works by liquifying the secretions in your lungs making it easier to cough sputum/phlegm up. That means you won't stop coughing until your lungs are relatively clear.

Personally, I take benadryl. It will dry up your secretions, such as post nasal drip. The downside, depending on how senistive you are to it, benadryl may make you very sleepy.

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

Get well soon Andrew.
This is probably bad advice but I always double up on the decongestants (I usually use sudofed) to deal with the snot, otherwise my nose leaks like a sieve.

Unfortunately, sudofed also works like speed on me, which is good for getting stuff done but bad for getting sleep.

Oh, and lots of Hall's cough drops, chicken soup, pork chops, bacon, and basically whatever you can get away with.

A bit of wine is soothing for sore throats but Halls makes it taste like crap, so you might as well use cheap wine.
I suggest Mad Dog or Night Train but there are many hobo wines to choose from.

Drink responsibly but stay thirsty my friends.
Words to live by if you like to stay thirsty.

AndrewPrice said...

Shawn, Isn't liquifying the stuff in your lungs how zombism starts? I guess we'll see because my cold stuff does indeed include that. :)

USS Ben USN (Ret) said...

rlaWTX, that's so tragic! I'm wondering how it could have happened.

One veteran saved his wife by pushing her off the float before the train hit.

Prayers for all concerned.

Individualist said...

Ok no film so let's play guess that film. Here is an easy one....

"Answer me these questions three"......

Here's a hint they makers of this film kindly declined from suing Star Wars as it is evident the character making this statement must have been the inspiration for the character Yoda because they realized if they had sued they'd be upper class twits and we all know how that ends up.

Individualist said...

Get well Andrew!

darski said...

Would you like to know the tackiest cold tip ever... Clearly mark a Chapstick in some way and use it on your raw red nose. It works and quickly... trust me on this :D You mark it so that you never use it on your lips EVER again.

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