Sunday, December 4, 2011

The Great (film) Debates vol. 17

Casablanca was an ok film, but it could have been so much better with a bunch of young hotties like Justin Timberlake and the tragically constipated Kristen Stewart. . . what? You don't agree? Ok, then you tell me:

If you were going to recast Casablanca with modern actors, who would you choose?

Panelist: T-Rav

As Rick Blaine, I'd pick George Clooney. Yes, I know, but he can do the romantic lead and the debonair man of mystery very well in the right role. I could also see Russell Crowe playing this character. For Ilsa Lund--honestly, I don't think there are any actresses who could nail it as well as Ingrid Bergman. Only Naomi Watts and Cate Blanchett come to mind as capable of filling her shoes; I'd give it to Watts because she has a bit softer, '40s look to her. Victor Laszlo strikes me as kind of a stiff nonentity and not as important, but someone like Liev Schreiber could do a good job as him. And for Captain Louis Renault, I'd have to go with Geoffrey Rush, partly because he impressed me as the morally conflicted police inspector in a recent film production of Les Miserables.

Panelist: AndrewPrice

I am sorely tempted to make Jason Statham Rick, but I won't. George Clooney would be Rick. Maura Tierney would be Ilsa -- I think she plays tragic roles well -- and Daniel Craig would be her husband. Johnny Depp would replace Peter Lorre as Ugarte. Jean Reno would replace Claude Rains. Frank Langella would replace Sydney Greenstreet. And Gabriel Byrne would play Strasser.

Panelist: ScottDS

Hmm... Jon Hamm as Rick. Yeah, that’s my cop-out answer! Cate Blanchett as Ilsa, Guy Pierce as Victor Laszlo, Jude Law as Captain Renault, Andy Serkis as Signor Ugarte, Bob Hoskins as Signor Ferrari, and Bill Nighy as Major Strasser. I went through a lot of great British actors but they were either too young or too old. And for the love of God, keep Steven Soderbergh the f--- away! He had his chance to make a movie in the style of Casablanca but failed miserably.

Panelist: Tennessee Jed

I want Colin Farrell and Naomi Watts in the Casablanca leads.


Comments? Thoughts?

98 comments:

Tennessee Jed said...

the problem with using Clooney is that I would have to miss the re-make because he is one of the arrogant bastards that I simply cannot spend a penney to watch. By the time it would come around free, I'd be dead.

T-Rav said...

Jon Hamm, Scott? Huh.

Jed, I have much less of a problem with Clooney than some others. Yeah, he's arrogant, but not the most arrogant (in my opinion, at least). However, I will say that he's not the shoo-in he might have been five or ten years ago.

ScottDS said...

Clooney was actually my first answer but I figured at least one other person would suggest him and he was in The Good German, which tried to channel Casablanca but with profanity, unlikable characters, a labyrnthine plot, awful pacing, and so-so camerawork (most of it's pretty good but the whites are too frequenlty blown out). I remember reading Nolte's review of that film on his old site and it's a work of art.

In short, I wanted to avoid any actor that was in any way associated with that POS but I failed since Cate Blanchett was in it, but she has a habit of making even the worst films slightly better (Crystal Skull, anybody?). :-)

AndrewPrice said...

Jed, Interestingly, Clooney isn't one of those actor for me. I've never had a problem with him on-screen from his off-screen problems.

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, I agree with that too. I think Clooney has really lost a lot of his luster in the past decade and I'm not sure why. It could just be that he's really bad at picking films?

Mycroft said...

Clooney doesn't work because Rick shouldn't be better looking than Lazlo. Bogart wasn't famous for being handsome, but for his strength of character.

Rick - Gary Sinise
Ilsa - Rachel Wiesz (alt: Cate Blanchett)
Lazlo - Colin Farrell (alt: Clive Owen)
Renault - Gary Oldman (alt: Alan Rickman)
Strausser - Rutger Hauer
Ferrari - Anthony Hopkins
Ugarte - Paul Giamatti

AndrewPrice said...

Scott, She was aweful in Crystal Skull.

By the way, I hate Andy Serkis. I know Hollywood loves him, especially for doing creatures, but I just think he's horrible. He reminds me of Seth MacFarlane who is the definition of "generic" acting.

I love the choice of Bob Hoskins though.

AndrewPrice said...

Mycroft, Good choices. My only issue with Gary Sinise, who I like a lot, is that he never manages to lose that "small town boy" atmosphere and I think Rick should have a more international feel to him.

DUQ said...

Interesting question. I'm gonna say I love the choice of Maura Tierney as Ilsa. I also like Jean Reno. Geoffrey Rush is good too. As is Colin Farrell.

ScyFyterry said...

I like these kinds of questions because it makes you think about what it is that makes these characters who they are. In the vein of trying new things, how about doing a slacker version! Justine Long would be Rick and Seth Rogen would be... no, that's a horrible idea. :D

AndrewPrice said...

DUQ, I like Tierney a lot as an actress and I think she would be prefect in this role, particularly as it requires a good deal of sadness, which is something she does very well. I like Reno too because he's just cool.

And in hindsight, I'm thinking I should have gone with Statham instead of Clooney.

AndrewPrice said...

ScyFyTerry, You have offered my nightmare version.

//shudder

Floyd R. Turbo said...

Rick: Ryan Gosling -- he's a bit young, but he does handsome/tough better than most. Maybe Christian Bale, but he seems too conventionally handsome.
Ilsa: Monica Bellucci
Renault: Jean Reno (alt. Oldman)
Strausser: Christoph Waltz
Laszlo: Colin Firth -- sorry but "Bullseye" can't be Viktor Laszlo -- SAG rules forbid it.
Ugarte: Steve Buscemi
Ferrari: Paul Giamatti
Sam: Harry Connick, Jr.

BevfromNYC said...

My very first impression was Bruce Willis as Rick. I really like Cate Blanchett as Ilsa. I'm still working on the rest...

Tink in Cali said...

I think Ben Affleck might make an interesting choice for Rick (oooo, or maybe Karl Urban could pull it off). As for Isla, I keep returning to international choices such as Diane Krueger or Charlize Theron. For Laszlo, Danish actor Nikolaj Coster Waldau and maybe Liam Neeson for Renault. Ugarte is harder because Lorre was always such a perfect toady, what about Alan Cumming?

Individualist said...

The real question is could Hollywood do that plot.

With the need for Hollywood to either modernize it to speak to the "issues of the day" or to turn it it into some kind of campy backhanded moclery of how people were in the 30's could you produce a film following that plot or one that would do it justice.

Sadly I think no, so I am in the camp that says don't give3 them any ideas.

DCAlleyKat said...

Scarlett Johansson and Clive Owen would be my picks! Both have the same edginess as Bogart and Bacall.

ScottDS said...

Andrew -

...She was awful in Crystal Skull.

I know. I think the strange attractor for me was her bob-style haircut. :-)

I'm gonna be out for a while but I'm sure I'll have more to contribute later.

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, I like Bruce Willis!!!! He's got the right amount of "beat down" which George Clooney is missing. Good call!


(P.S. I sent you an e-mail.)

DCAlleyKat said...

Scarlett Johansson and Clive Owen would be my picks. Both have that same edginess as Bogart and Bacall...I think they'd be great!

AndrewPrice said...

Floyd, I love those choices! Seriously. I read them and nodded my head with each one (except Gosling -- I'm going with Jason Statham). I especially like Colin Firth and Harry Connick Jr. I was trying to think of who would make a great Sam and just couldn't come up with anyone. He's it! :)

AndrewPrice said...

Tink, Good choices! I like the idea Karl Urban a lot. He could be really excellent in the role. And Liam Neeson is great in so many roles, I think he would fit here seamlessly. Alan Cummings... interesting choice. Another one who might be able to play the toady is Richard Roxburgh who played The Duke in Moulin Rouge.

AndrewPrice said...

Individualist, I don't know if they could or couldn't. I can see them tempted to add wire fight scenes, car chases and huge explosions. But who knows, they have a solid blueprint to follow.

As an aside, did you ever see Barb Wire? That was a remake of this with Pamela Anderson. It was surprisingly not-awful, but I think that had mainly to do with them copying good material, not with anything good they did.

LawHawkRFD said...

The only name that jumped into my mind for Rick was Adrien Brody. Can't tell you why specifically, but I think it has something to do with the fact that he certainly ain't pretty, he can be very tough but has a vulnerable side. Sorta like Rick.

AndrewPrice said...

DCAlleyKat, I like Clive Owen a lot. I go back and forth on Johansson. Sometimes I like her, sometimes I don't.

Kit said...

I tried but I got nothing. Possibly because the topic itself is blasphemous. :)

The most I found is possibly Sophie Marceau as Ilsa. Possibly Audrey Tautou. Or Emma Watson in a few years. Needs someone with a good smile.

Rachel Weisz sounds interesting.


For Rick . . . maybe Michael Weatherly (Dinozzo on NCIS). He is the best I've got for Rick.
Or Daniel Craig.

I give up here.

AndrewPrice said...

Scott, She looked and acted like something right out of The Bullwinkle and Rocky Show. It was tragic. And yes, for the record, I watched it yesterday -- along with each of the other Raiders films. It really, really is the worst of he four.

AndrewPrice said...

Lawhawk, I'm a big Adrien Brody fan and I think he could do it... but then I think he can do anything as an actor. LOL!

Kit said...

As a MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATRE 3000 fan, I am very aware of BARB WIRE . . .

Now I must leave before my rage causes laser beams to shoout out of my eyes and incinerate this computer.

AndrewPrice said...

Kit, "blasphemous" LOL! We have no sacred cows here. :)

I am starting to become a fan of Daniel Craig, so he would be an interesting choice that I wouldn't mind seeing in the role of Rick.

AndrewPrice said...

Kit, I love MST3k!! I have seen them all repeatedly. I've even used to have them all on video and have since bought a few on DVD. What a fantastic concept! :)


Sorry about the rage. I actually saw Barb Wire in theaters... what can I say? I was young and foolish and didn't know it was a Casablanca knock off. ;)

ScottDS said...

Andrew -

I kept it on in the background even though I was listening to some new music purchases. I had a feeling you were watching it, too. :-)

As for the question, there are some great choices here (I can't believe I didn't think of Clive Owen!).

Interesting suggestion of Maura Tierney. I know I don't have to remind you of my love for NewsRadio. She managed to pull off "historical epic" quite well in their Titanic parody episode. And I know she can do drama, too, though I never watched her on E.R..

Individualist said...

Actually

I did see Barb Wire....

but never put the two together. It was a good beer and pretzels movie and I guess that Barb Wire was Sam.

I guess the one thing movies today miss are the great lines.

"You would regret this. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but soon and for the rest of your life."

Bogart did not need car explosions.

AndrewPrice said...

Scott, There are some interesting suggestions and indeed, we have a wealth of excellent possibilities.

On Tierney, I saw her first on News Radio and I thought she was great! I really wished her career would have been bigger, but she never really left television and I'm not a big fan of most of what's on television.

Yeah, I watched them and it was interesting that the amount of other work I got done depended very much on which film was on. For example, I intended to work all day with them on in the background, but I just couldn't stop watching Raiders.

AndrewPrice said...

Indi, Actually, Anderson plays the role of Rick.

Modern films are missing the cool lines because they aren't writing those anymore. They are sucking out complex dialog because it doesn't translate well in China and they value the one line quip above any sort of written-beauty because that's what the 13 year olds remember. Some of it still slips through, but most of it doesn't. In fact, I'm finding much better writing in places like HBO series now than I am in films -- probably because the audience is different... adult Americans v. Chinese.

BevfromNYC said...

Okay, Bruce Willis as Rick. What about Adrian Brody for Lazlo, Marion Clotillard as Ilsa, and Daniel Day-Lewis as Cpt Renault?

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, Daniel Day Lewis is awesome (though I'm going with Jean Reno in this case). I saw pictures of him as Lincoln yesterday and he truly looked like Lincoln.

BevfromNYC said...

FYI - I just finished watching all of the available episodes of NewsRadio on Netflix. Loved it! I miss Phil Hartmann.

If you have never watched Sports Night, it is even better than I remembered.

Ed said...

I'm not sure who Jon Hamm is? I do like your dig at Kristen Stewart. :D

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, NewsRadio was great -- a truly funny sitcom. Yeah, I miss Hartman too. I still find it hard to believe he was killed.

AndrewPrice said...

Ed, I couldn't resist. I will say though that I've come around a good deal on Timberlake -- he's got more class than I used to think. I just don't know yet if he can act.

T-Rav said...

I can't really see Jason Statham as Rick. The character could be varied a bit, of course, but there should be a certain suave quality to him, and Statham just seems too hard-bitten to me to pull that off. I would reject Clive Owen for the same reason; though I could see both filling a number of other roles in the movie. Gary Sinise and Rachel Weisz would be interesting leads, though.

And I agree, Cate Blanchett has her limits, and "Crystal Skull" was one of them.

T-Rav said...

Hey, I was just watching a couple of MST3K flicks with some friends Friday night! Let's see, there was "Santa vs. Satan" (because it's the holiday season), and "The Final Sacrifice," which is about a cult in Alberta that kills people in the effort to create a master race; I assume this is a reaction to living in Alberta.

We also watched "The Room," which I hereby declare the worst movie ever made.

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, I don't know The Room?

My favorite MST is still Gamera. I loved that one! I'm not even sure they can show that one anymore since Sandy Frank apparently refused to renew the syndication rights after they angered him. :(

Statham would be a stretch, I agree, but I think he could do it. Or I'd end up with reviews that say "what a great film... except for Statham! What were they thinking!"

Yep, she should delete Crystal Skull from her resume.

Kit said...

Andrew,

You may not be aware of this, but the MST3K movie was poorly advertised and given a crappy release was because the company put their resources into BARB WIRE.

AndrewPrice said...

Kit, I didn't know that, but that certainly was a poor choice. MST has millions of fans all over the country (world) -- even today, long after it's off the air. Pamela Anderson is tabloid fodder.

Mycroft said...

I had considered Liam Neeson or Mel Gibson as Rick, but ruled them out due to age. Rick needs to be seasoned, but not a senior citizen.

And while Gary Sinise may give off a small town vibe, his vibe is unquestionably American. Another requirement that Clooney (and other citizen of the world actors) fails at. Not to say that Rick has to be played by an American actor (see reference to Liam Neeson above).

Ilsa must have an almost angelic beauty. Monica Belluci would be perfect, but I don't believe she's that great an actress. Sophie Marceau is a great idea. I don't think that Marion Cotillard qualifies.

Jean Reno would be an excellent choice as Renault.

So my updated choices:

Rick - Gary Sinise (alt: Russell Crowe)
Ilsa - Sophie Marceau (alt: Rachel Weisz)
Lazlo - Colin Farrell (alt: Karl Urban)
Renault - Jean Reno (alt: Gary Oldman)
Strausser - Rutger Hauer
Ferrari - Anthony Hopkins
Ugarte - Paul Giamatti (alt: Steve Buscemi)

AndrewPrice said...

Mycroft, I agree about Marion Cotillard. I don't think she's very attractive, nor is she a particularly strong actress. I would go with Sophie Marceau or Monica Bellucci.

I'm still not sold on Sinise. I love him as an actor, but I just don't think this is the kind of role he can play. But we can disagree! After all, life would be dull if we all agreed! :)

T-Rav said...

Andrew, I'd never heard of it either, but a friend of mine explained that running RiffTrax on it would be a bad idea because the movie is "so bad, they just make it worse." It's really awful, and talking about it more would just ruin people's lives. Don't watch it, I'm telling you.

I've never liked Marion Cotillard either, certainly not since I found out she was a 9/11 truther.

BevfromNYC said...

"But we can disagree! After all, life would be dull if we all agreed!"

I agree...oh, no, wait...I disagree! ;D

P.S. Got your email and I'm working on it...

BevfromNYC said...

Okay, even I agree about Cotillard. I don't like Cotillard that much either, but she gave a great performance as Edith Piaf. Actually, it was Audrey Tautou, that I was thinking of.

But how about Juliette Binoche?

rlaWTX said...

I know that this might get me tossed out of Commentarama, but I have never seen Casablanca all the way through. I have seen lots of pieces, but it never grabbed me so that I had to make the effort of seeing the whole thing. It might also be that I have heard how it is the best thing ever since kittens and the last time I fell for that line was when I finally watched GWTW from start to finish - a total waste of 4 hours of my life! She goes through all of that and then just quits to think about it tomorrow? Are you serious??

but if Statham was in the Casablanca remake, I'd watch it!!

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, The whole Truther thing is one of the easiest ways to piss me off. I refuse to ignore that one.

Your friend is insane. Snark makes everything better! I haven't seen/heard any of the Rifftrax stuff but I think the concept is brilliant how it gets around the copyright/licensing issues they kept having.

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, I like Juliette Binoche a lot. She would be great too.


On the e-mail, cool! :)

Mycroft said...

No problem, Andrew.
It's just that given the constraints I put on the role, there just aren't that many actors out there today that can play Rick. The era of the metrosexual may be winding down, but it left us bereft of men in their late 30's to mid 40's that can play a cynical American with loads of integrity.
We have very few modern Robert Mitchums or William Holdens. Most modern actors are either ridiculously handsome or strangely quirky.

EUREKA ! ! !
Robert Downey, Jr. could pull it off.

AndrewPrice said...

rlaWTX, Don't say that about GWTW with Bev around! Her head will explode!

As for not liking these films, everyone has different tastes, but I really do enjoy both films very much.

I'd like to see Statham expand his roles and do more varied work.

AndrewPrice said...

Mycroft, Isn't that the truth! We've got a lot of middle-age ex-pretty boys right now, don't we?

Robert Downey Jr. could do it!

You know who else might fit your requirements and be good, if only he could stay off the drugs and out of prison would be Tom Sizemore.

BevfromNYC said...

rlaWTX - You are dead to me...no really, you are...okay, maybe not, but you could be if you ever say anything bad about GWTW again! You'll learn. I'm re-reading the book right now, so I will one day explain to you the significance of GWTW and why Scarlett and Melanie are both very important literary female characters.

Now go forth and sin no more...

AndrewPrice said...

As an aside... Tim Tebow did it again. 6-1! Incredible. Good for him! :)

ScottDS said...

If reader Ed is still around, Jon Hamm is the lead on AMC's Mad Men. He was also in Bridesmaids and is one of the funniest SNL hosts in recent memory (and I realize that isn't saying much). :-)


Andrew, et al -

Nice to see some NewsRadio fans around. I was a fan since day 1 - I was 12 when it premiered in 1995 but this was the first sitcom I watched that: a.) my parents didn't tell me about, and b.) wasn't a traditional family sitcom, so I guess there was some odd pride of ownership involved. And I miss Phil Hartman dearly. I realized the Emmys were a total sham after they nominated him only after he was killed. (The show itself was never recognized with anything.)

One more thing but I think Bev knows this already: I've never seen GWTW!

tryanmax said...

I don't know Casablanca well enough to recast it from what I remember. I'll just offer my parody cast: James Franco as Rick and Kristin Wigg as Ilsa. You can fill in the rest at random with members of the Apatow Gang. We should probably eliminate some roles and then throw in a few that were never there. Hell, I'm sure we could find an excuse for a cameo by a washed-up athlete. Morgan Freeman can narrate.

The remake should sacrifice all faithfulness to the source for political prescience. Therefore, the Nazis should be a metaphor for the Tea Party. Also, the leads should display anachronistic sensitivity about current issues, such as sexism or Islamophobia.

Finally, the misunderstanding between Frank and Ilsa which sets up the crux of the story should be made trivial and easily resolvable. It will instead be prolonged by poorly written dialogue and unbelievably inconsistent behavior from the characters involved.

Can you tell I'm feeling cynical today?

AndrewPrice said...

Scott, If I remember correctly, Newsradio was treated as the red-headed stepchild of sitcoms at the time. I'm not sure why, but it seemed to be the one no one cared about, probably because it wasn't a standard generic sitcom with the standard generic recycled regulars. In an event, it was an excellent show and was one of the last sitcoms I enjoyed.


And why did you have to remind Bev of that? Is today "Give Bev An Aneurysm Day?"

AndrewPrice said...

tryanmax, Yeah, cynical is an understatement. You should take some happy pills... or eat a Happy Meal!

BevfromNYC said...

Ouch...my head hurts.

tryanmax said...

Oh, I forgot to add the car chases and shoot outs. And the final scene should be done with Ilsa leaning out of the plane with Rick chasing it in an open top car while they race down the runway.

My daughter stole my happy meal. See what I posted on yesterday's topic.

AndrewPrice said...

tryanmax. . . the horror. . . the horror.

Sadly, you're probably right that this would be what we should expect from a remake.

Let's see, Ilsa works for an environmental agency. She's being hunted by an evil corporation. Rick is an oil company lobbyist who has seen the evil of his ways. The rest is just shootouts, lots of sex, a 30 minute car chase through the streets of Paris, and there are some Christian terrorists with a nuclear bomb who want to blow it up to kill poor people and make profits somehow.

Yep. . . writes itself.

Retro Hound said...

I can't believe you'd even ask this question!

I don't have as much of a problem with Clooney as others, but I don't see him in the role of Rick. He's not world weary enough. I would think Brad Pitt would be better, but still not good enough. Anyone else I can think of might be too old. I don't know how old Chris Cooper is, but Tommy Lee Jones is too old.

AndrewPrice said...

Retro Hound, We like to push the envelop around here! :)

Yeah, Clooney seems to be a thumbs down choice for not fitting the role. I actually like Bev's suggestion of Bruce Willis a lot. I think he's got the right sense of "beat-down" to fit the role nicely.

tryanmax said...

I've only seen a couple folks name Oldman for anything. The amazing thing about Oldman is he can play an amazing range of different characters. I could just about see him doing Casablanca by himself.

AndrewPrice said...

Now that is a fascinating idea! I'll bet people would turn out in droves just to see if he could pull it off.

tryanmax said...

If I could change my initial picks to make them even worse, I think I'd rather see our tragicomic-slaction-sex-fest reimagining of Casablanca starring Vince Vaughn and Zooey Deschanel and featuring Keenan Thompson as Sam.

I'm operating from the theory that if a movie is bad enough, it actually becomes good.

AndrewPrice said...

I despise Zooey Deschanel. She's so stupid I feel my own IQ dropping just watching her. And when she um... like... uh speaks and stuff, I can actually hear my braincells die.

She's also so stiff and emotionaless as an actress, she better watch her back or she's going to get stuffed into a coffin by mistake.

ScottDS said...

I like Zooey Deschanel but I am sympathetic to the complaints. She embodies the cliche of the "manic pixie dream girl."

I liked her in Barry Sonnenfeld's underrated Big Trouble but she was awful in Shyamalan's The Happening (but everything was awful in that movie, so much so that it works as a comedy). :-)

T-Rav said...

Well, I was going to say that I've seen most of "Gone With the Wind" a long time ago and didn't care for it (and really didn't like Scarlett O'Hara), but I don't want to give Bev an aneurysm, so I won't.

AndrewPrice said...

Scott, I wouldn't even credit her with that. I'm talking about the human, not the roles. She's borderline retarded and about as uninteresting as a human can possibly get. And that comes across in her robotic-Al-Gore-like performances.

T-Rav said...

Jeez, Andrew--dissed Kristen Stewart at the outset, then Zooey Deschannel, and I made you hate Marion Cotillard. Are there any young actresses you do like? (Wait, I already know the answer to that one.)

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, There are quite a few, but I just don't like the retards.

T-Rav said...

I actually do like Deschannel, not gonna lie. I can see why people don't like the hipster persona she has to her, but she's been really good in a few roles--"Elf," for instance, and I liked her in "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." She's probably a better singer than an actress, but I certainly wouldn't describe her as "robotic" or "borderline retarded." Actually, are you sure you weren't thinking of Stewart? Because you've made your opinion of her pretty clear.

tryanmax said...

Okay, I've worked it out. It's been a while since I've seen Casablanca, but that probably helps an exercise like this out. Here is my cast for Casablanca 2012:

Vince Vaugh as Rick
Zooey Deschanel as Ilsa
Russel Brand as Lazlo
Jason Segel as Renault
Neil Patrick Harris as Strausser
Jonah Hill as Ugarte (incedentally, he doesn't die in this version)
Seth Rogan as Ferrari
Alyson Hannigan as Yvonne
Paul Rudd as Sascha
James Franco and Mila Kunis as Jan and Annina Brandel
and feat. Keenan Thompson as Sam with Aziz Ansari as Carl

Thoughts?

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, Nope, it's her. There are websites that have made fun of how inane and stupid her twitter comments and other public pronouncements are, that's how stupid the girl is. And it shows.

It's also reinforced by her publicist running around for about a year trying to claim that she's brilliant in real life but it just doesn't come across. Uh huh, sure.

AndrewPrice said...

tryanmax, Thoughts?

Ok, here's one: hire them all and then poison the catering.

tryanmax said...

Andrew, in light of what I was attempting, I will consider that a win.
I forgot to mention that I will be tapping Greg Mottola to direct. I don't know writers well enough to assign those.

I'm envisioning a mod-retro feel, where we set the film in its original period but score it with rapid techno and blow out the colors with and HDR look. We'll also do something really something really visually cliche, like only use the color red for items that are key to the plot.

Morgan Freeman can still narrate.

AndrewPrice said...

tryanmax, Ug. Yeah. Poison the catering.

What you've described is pretty much a nightmare scenario that frankly I could see a whole bunch of producers taking seriously.

//shakes head

tryanmax said...

Are you saying I might have a career in producing?

Kit said...

Tyranmax,

Why have Morgan Freeman narrate when you can have SAMUEL L. JACKSON?! :)

AndrewPrice said...

tryanmax, It sounds like you are indeed ready to be a big time producer!

AndrewPrice said...

Kit, Samuel L! Awesome!

"All we got. . .

. . . is a hill OF F***ING beans MOTHERF***ER!"

Individualist said...

Andrew yes you are right Barb Wire was Rick....

I got him mixed up with Sam becasue of the line (that was never actually said in the movie I am told)

Play it again Sam

rlaWTX said...

Bev, I am grovelling at your feet for forgiveness; however, I will not recant!

Tryanmax: that sounds like all the other modern movies I haven't seen!

Kit said...

Andrew,

I was wondering how far I could go with the Samuel L. f-bomb-ing Jackson jokes so I refrained.

But now that you made one, I'll make one.

"I am sick and tired of all these mother$#@%ing Nazies in my mother$#@%ing cafe!"

"Col. Strasser, you want me to hand over the muthah@%$&ing papers? I'll let Ezekial 25:17 answer that, Mother%$#^er!"

Kit said...

But in seriousness.

Maybe Gary Sinise for Rick, as someone said.

Ilsa: Sophie Marceau.

Laszlo: Stephen Dillaine (Jefferson in JOHN ADAMS and Harry Vardon in GREATEST GAME EVER PLAYED)

For Strasser, the evil Nazi in INGLORIOUS BASTERDS (as someone else also said) is the best I have. Though Jason Isaacs is a possibility.

Renault: No idea. Claude Raines was so perfect, doing this list makes me realize just how perfect he was in the role.
But if I had to choose then Jim Broadbent of GATHERING STORM and HARRY POTTER 6.

No idea for Sam, either.

AndrewPrice said...

Indi, It was an odd portrayal to say the least!

AndrewPrice said...

Kit, I LOVE the Nazis in the cafe line! That alone might be worth the price of admission! LOL!

Jim Broadbent is an interesting choice -- I liked him a lot in Moulin Rouge!

Jason Issacs is an interesting choice too. I've always liked him in everything I've seen him do.

ArmChairGeneral said...

I would use all no-name actors.

AndrewPrice said...

ACG, That's the other way to go and that might actually be the better way to make the movie -- though the harder way to market it.

Mycroft said...

Sorry, Tryanmax, but if you want a realistic modern casting of Casablanca, something like this is more likely:

Rick - Robert Pattinson (Twilight)
Ilsa - Kristen Stewart (Twilight)
Lazlo - Taylor Lautner (Twilight)
Renault - Chris Colfer (Glee)
Ugarte - Miley Cyrus
Strausser - Jane Lynch (Glee)
Ferrari - Samuel L Jackson
Sam - Lady Gaga

You can fill in the rest of the cast with kids from the Disney channel.

AndrewPrice said...

Wow, you guys are making me cry. :(

tryanmax said...

I try to be hip. I try to be with it. I try to be up on the times. But I guess you're right. My cast list is soooo four minutes ago.

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