Sometimes you can't top perfection. Sometimes you can. Maybe Star Wars could have been better with a little tweak here and there?If you were going to recast Darth Vader as a female character, who would you choose?
Panelist: BevfromNYC
I am not sure, but I bet Angelica Huston might be evil enough. There’s always Glenn Close or Meryl Streep. And if you want to recast Spaceballs, then I would choose Linda Hunt!
Panelist: T-Rav
I'd have to pick Tilda Swinton, in light of her work in the Narnia movies, Constantine, and a couple others. There's a vague creepiness in her characters, combined with an ice-cold demeanor and a hidden ferocity, which I think would work very well for a female Vader. She does the villain thing very well.
Panelist: Tennessee Jed
Darth Vaderess? Look, I so want to put in Barbra Streisand who is one ugly woman with a good voice who had the clout to cast herself in romantic leads with Redford and Kristofferson (I can almost visualize the hurl leaking between my fingers as I furiously try and hold back the enevitable tide of spew just thinking about her. Besides, she has the morals of a pig. Alas, this is a serious question and deserves an equally serious answer, so I'll go with Grace Jones.
Panelist: ScottDS
I'll say Louise Fletcher, best known as Nurse Ratched in One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and Kai Winn in Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. I realize this may be a cop out answer for people familiar with those two characters but if Fletcher can do one thing, it's evil... and not just evil, but the ruthlessly efficient banal brand of evil which is much harder to pull off. (Incidentally, a cursory glance at her IMDb page reveals a lot of guest starring roles on TV but only a handful of memorable films. I guess this proves winning an Oscar doesn't guarantee immortality.)
Panelist: AndrewPrice
Julie Andrews. Wait, I'm kidding! My choice is Joanna Cassidy. She was the girlfriend in Roger Rabbit, replicant Zhora in Blade Runner, and has had numerous other "tough guy" roles. She's very able to project strength and strength of personality.
Comments? Thoughts?
Rosie O'Donnell. She could pull off mentally strangling lackeys, shooting electricity out of her fingers, and saying "Luuuuke, I'm your father."
ReplyDeleteeach and every choice here is an extremely good one if you think about it. Streep has turned into a wicked old witch and Close can do nasty really well.
ReplyDeleteTilda Swinton makes a great vaguely menacing villain, Rav. She might not have the physical size to do the Vadress intimidation, however.
Louise Fletcher is an incredibly good choice Scott. She could make the transition from nasty bitch to, "Luke I'm you mother" in a heartbeat.
Andrew - Joanna Cassidy is a classic villainess.
Sigourney Weaver
ReplyDeleteExcellent choices and a fascinating question! I'll have to get back to you with my answer.
ReplyDeletetryanmax, I would have said Sigourney Weaver until I saw Paul where she played a heavy and I thought she wasn't very good at it.
ReplyDeleteambisinistral, She certainly has the evil part down, I just don't think she has the gravitas. Gravity yes, gravitas, no.
ReplyDeleteJed, I agree, they are all excellent choices and interestingly, I suspect they would all have played the character very differently.
ReplyDeleteI hadn't thought of Grace Jones, but she could definitely do it.
I like Scott's Louis Fletcher choice a lot as she's already played a role where she had to be rather evil and menacing and she did it very well.
tryanmax, She's a good guy? LOL! Actually, she would probably make a good choice based on her acting in Alien 3 where she did menacing rather well early in the film.
ReplyDeleteDUQ, By all means, let us know your thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if Kathy Bates could play the role? I know she doesn't quite look the part, but has the attitude.
ReplyDeleteGood question Doc. She definitely can do menacing evil, but can she do it without trying to seem cute first?
ReplyDeleteAlso, no love for Ellen Page? (Just kidding!)
ReplyDeleteMax - I agree, I think Sigourney could do it based on Ripley. Remember, Darth has to actually be good and evil.
ReplyDeleteDoc - wow, Kathy Bates. I wouldn't have seen that one coming ;)
ReplyDeleteI just thought of another couple of candidates. Knoxville's Dale Dickey (Winter's Bone) and Daryl Hannah (based on her Kill Bill character)
ReplyDeleteI googled a list of the tallest actresses and in addition to the usual suspects, I came accross one who would be visually stunning in the role: Famke Janssen (a villainous Bond girl in Goldeneye plus some work in the X-Men films.)
ReplyDeleteCharlize Theron
ReplyDeleteSerena Williams -- the tennis player
Doc, I'm glad you're kidding!
ReplyDeleteJed, I can't believe I didn't think of Famke Janssen! She would be fantastic! She's had lot of roles that require the various parts of the Vader personality and she's always pulled it off! Great call!
ReplyDeleteFloyd, I don't know if Williams can act, but she can certainly intimidate!
ReplyDeleteTheron is a good choice too. I'm looking forward to seeing her in Prometheus.
What about Alice what's her name... the Borg Queen
ReplyDeleteor even better....
Asia Argento as Darth Vader directed by Dario Argento
Hillary Clinton
ReplyDeleteSee, I went for the obvious choices that anyone would say. I like the idea of Tilda Swinton. Oh, and Famke who? How do you guys know these things??
ReplyDeleteBev, Angelika Huston is a good choice. Famke Jensen was in X-Men and a lot of horror movies like Lord of Illusions.
ReplyDeleteThat is an easy one Linda Blair
ReplyDeleteRichard Dawson died! Survey says... R.I.P.
ReplyDeleteDoc, That's sad. Dawson had a lot of good will with me.
ReplyDeleteFloyd, I think she's Alice Kreig or Kreiger. And yeah, she would be a good choice.
ReplyDeleteDirect by Dario Argento? LOL! Lucas won't be happy to hear that one!
Lawhawk, She could be Vader's secretary of state, but that's about it. LOL! How about Pelosi?
ReplyDeleteBev, Years of intense study. ;)
ReplyDelete(p.s. How do the next set of questions?)
Indi, With the head spinning bit, that would work really nicely! LOL!
ReplyDeleteOops Andrew.! I will get them asap.
ReplyDeleteDoc, Forget Ellen Page... Julie Andrews. You know it!
ReplyDeleteNo problem Bev. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd Nancy would be waaaay to scary for Darth Vader! She is much better suited as the Alien Queen bug creature in Alien 1, 2, and 3, but even Signorney Weaver could not defeat her...
ReplyDeleteJulie Andrews would be perfect. All she would have to do is that "Mary Poppins" thing. Scary!
ReplyDeleteCould you see Julie Andrews breaking into song in the middle of threatening Princess Leah? That would be really funny.... wrong, but funny.
ReplyDeleteI guess we would also need to change their last names to Luke and Leah von Trapp?
Yeah, Pelosi would probably be too evil. She could only play bad guys who drip venom and slime all over the place.
ReplyDeleteAndrew: The part calls for looking evil, then looking good. How could we tell the difference with Pelosi and all that botox holding her face in a permanent death-grin?
ReplyDeleteGreat choices! Judy Dench. She's playing a very similar character in M in James Bond.
ReplyDeletefor some reason, Bev, Pelosi come across with more of a moronic- no make that an almost a childlike naivite that defies scary. Here latest 6-3 for Obamacare speech reminded me of those crazy silly things our grandkid toddlers do that make us laugh at their fundamental silliness.
ReplyDeleteTerry - there is something to be said for British villains. But just as with Vader, you could have one person do the voice (Dame Dench) and another do the body (Uma Thurman after bulking up 2o punds for example.) This assumes the same costume work. :)
ReplyDeleteJed and Lawhawk, I think the problem with Pelosi is that she tends to specialize in comedy. It would be like casting a Marx Brother as the lead in some drama.
ReplyDeleteIf we can joke about Ellen Page, then I'm tossing in Zooey Deschanel.
ReplyDeleteTerry, Judy Dench! Great, great choice! :)
ReplyDeletetryanmax, Now you've gone too far.
ReplyDeleteIt's always funny until somebody loses an eye or somebody mentions Zooey "the idiot" Deschanel. The woman makes Biden look like Einstein. She's the female Pauly Shore. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
// rips out hair
Max - l.o.l., there are some things one doesn't joke about. O.k., I'll grant you, her name is joke worthy. But when discussing her acting chops, I try and simply avert my eyes.
ReplyDeleteElizabeth Hurley, yeah I said it. She played the devil in one movie and I think she could pull it off...with a British accent. If not she'd at least be good to look at. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd come on people... acting chops? We are talking about Star Wars right?
ReplyDeleteJed, Ditto.
ReplyDeleteOutlaw, Ooooh, I like Elizabeth Hurley. She is indeed good to look at, plus I like her personality. The movie I think you're talking about was Bedazzled.
ReplyDeleteYeah acting. LOL!
Okay, fine. I get it. I'll be happy to admit that I've gone to far if anyone can explain away THIS.
ReplyDeletewell for one thing, the lips don't work l.o.l. Pretty fun, Tryanmax
ReplyDeleteHmm. You have me there tryanmax! LOL! Maybe she's Vader's illegitimate daughter? Luke, Leah and Zooey?
ReplyDeleteThat's a hoot! I was seriously contemplating Zooey Dechanel. She'd be great and bet she could do "evil" really well! Hey, I'm serious!
ReplyDeleteI'd say Mercedes McCambridge, who had a great voice (started out as a radio actress), was scary as both a butch lesbian gang leader in TOUCH OF EVIL and as the demon voice in THE EXORCIST... except she was only 5'3. Maybe if she did a James Earl Jones voiceover deal with somebody else (Lucy Lawless?) cast as the on-screen Vader, it would work out.
ReplyDeleteDiana Rigg would be cool as Vader; not AVENGERS-era young "Emma Peel" Rigg, but when she was in her late-30s/40s, during the time the original trilogy was in production. She's a decent height (almost 5' 9), has the Shakespearean acting chops in spades (won a Tony for playing MEDEA, for example), possesses a commanding voice, and can be both beautiful and scary.
A pre-anorexic/pre-plastic surgery Lara Flynn Boyle from the mid-90s (think RED ROCK WEST, THE TEMP and especially THE LAST SEDUCTION) might work.
Maybe Faye Dunaway, Claudia Cardinale or Sophia Loren?
Louise Fletcher and Famke Janssen are both excellent choices.
Pam Grier...
ReplyDeleteCurrent Carrie Fisher...
Joan Crawford could do it -- and I'm not talking Mommie Dearest character assassinated version...
Bea Arthur?
And I'd like to see what Roger Corman could do with it. Though wouldn't the character have to be named Dark Mater -- in which case Larry the Cable guy could voice it.
It would completely change the tone of the movie.
ReplyDeleteBut interestingly enough it does sound like something Lucas would try. While falling flat on his face doing it. Considering what SW is based on, a woman in such a role would fall flat.
That said.
I would limit the selection to the actresses of the day.
Eleanor Audley would be a top choice. But oddly enough if a woman was in the role as Vader(a woman named Darth Vader? That's like naming a girl Starbuck.), you have to dump the Emperor. Or name her Empress, Hollywood really likes showing woman in powerful singular positions.
Bev, I simply cannot compute that idea. My head will explode.
ReplyDeleteBackthrow, Diana Rigg! Great choice. I liked her a lot and I think she could do "tough."
ReplyDeleteFloyd, Pam Grier could absolutely do it! :)
ReplyDeleteMax, It would absolutely change the tone of the movie, but it would be interesting to see the results. "Luke, I am your father... er, mother. Twins? What twins? What are you talking about?" LOL!
ReplyDeleteOkay, didn't get to the laptop until now.
ReplyDeleteI guess the size thing is a strike against Swinton, but I think it's more about the ability to project menace. One doesn't have to be tall and powerfully built to intimidate.
I like Scott's choice, too; Louise Fletcher would be great for the role.
T-Rav, That's true. As Yoda said, "judge me by my size do you?"
ReplyDeleteRegarding Darth Vader, I could almost see Linda Hamilton from Chuck and the Terminator films as the token parental villain turned hero. Think about it, when the Emperor started shocking Luke, I could imagine her saying... "Keep your hands off my child you (insert expletive here)" and trust me, she would have expletives to make even Bruce Willis ashamed of his role in the Die Hard movies, given what she was willing to do to protect herself, her unborn child, and her child, in the Terminator 1 and 2 films, plus how nasty she is in trying to protect Chuck in the big spy game. If there's any actress who makes a nasty mother when you mess with her kids on screen, it's Linda Hamilton.
ReplyDeleteI could hear Eleanor Audley saying that.
ReplyDelete"Twins, what are you talking about".
So if we change Vader, would we change Obiwan as well?
If we didn't that would open up the question of Odiwan being Luke's father.
That would be funny, "well, Luke there was that one night".
Angela Bassett (her villianous Green Lantern cameo is the only thing I remember about the movie) and Tilda Swinton (ditto for Constantine).
ReplyDeleteYes, I watch a lot of crappy movies.
obiwan, Linda Hamilton could probably do it, though I think Vader swearing would be a mistake. But she's got the physical presence to do it, especially after she bulked up for T2.
ReplyDeleteMax, LOL! Obiwan would definitely have to be the father. :)
ReplyDeleteAnthony, I think we all watch a lot of crappy movies! LOL!
ReplyDeleteI can see Swinton. I can't recall Bassett in the role you mention though.
y'all are very... creative!
ReplyDeleteWe strive for it rlaWTX! :)
ReplyDeleteI kept thinking about this. You change the sex of Vader, thus changing the sex of Anakin. This has some big implications, or at least no more Luke Skywalker, that is if his mother's maiden name is Skywalker.
ReplyDeleteOr do we switch Padme Naberrie as well.
So Anakin could be Anny Skywalker.
Padme could be Pad(I like Pud) Naberrie.
Lea would be unchanged(since she was adopted out, so how could she remember anything about her mother? I digress). But Luke kept his father's name, so Luke would now be Luke Naberrie(Luke Kenobi, would sound a little better). But it still leaves the Dark Lord of the Sith Darth Vader. Who is no longer a Sith Lord but is a Sith Lady(following tradition). But the Dark Lady of the Sith, Darth Vader sounds odd. But it might be fitting since Lucas turned Vader into a sobbing wimp. (Andrew, remember when we used to think Vader was cool bad guy.)
Why can't people leave things alone.
Max, There was indeed a time when Vader was a cool bad guy... before Lucas turned him into a lousy, whiny, abusive wimp. Grrr.
ReplyDeleteYou could of course go a different route on the name and make Vader into Dorthy Vader. ;)
Dorthy Vader and his, I mean her red slippers.
ReplyDelete"I'll get you my pretty, and your little wookie too."
I can't get it out of my head, Vader(James earl Jones) stating, "There is no place like home(breath, boots clicking)".
Max, LOL! Excellent! :)
ReplyDelete