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Thursday, May 16, 2013

Questionable Bond No. 6

What good is a villain without quality henchmen? Everybody needs good staff.

Question: "Name the Top 5 henchmen!"


Andrew's Answer: In particular order...

1. Red Grant - From Russia with Love
2. Fiona Volpe - Thunderball
3. Baron Samedi - Live and Let Die
4. Oddjob - Goldfinger
5. Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd – Diamonds Are Forever


Scott's Answer: In no particular order...

1. Red Grant - From Russia with Love (Robert Shaw in total badass mode)
2. Oddjob - Goldfinger (iconic and still effective)
3. Jaws - The Spy Who Loved Me (until Moonraker turned him into a damned cartoon)
4. Fiona - Thunderball (hot and knows how to ride a motorcycle!)
5. Mr. Wint and Mr. Kidd - Diamonds are Forever (these two are more interesting than anything else in the film, John Barry and Ken Adam's work notwithstanding!)

Honorable mentions...

6. Xenia Onatopp - GoldenEye (this was my first Bond film so call it nostalgia)
7. Baron Samedi - Live and Let Die (featured in the best closing shot in any Bond film)

31 comments:

  1. Both lists include Wint and Kidd, so I'm satisfied.

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  2. tryanmax, LOL! You're easy to satisfy.

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  3. Nick Nack - Cutest henchman of all.

    Rosa Klebb - If I ran the academy, she would have been given a special Oscar for best portrayal of a communist apparatchik.

    Kronsteen - A unique henchman who only employed his mind as a weapon.

    Tee Hee - Always brings a smile to my face.

    Miss Taro - Not very effective as a henchwoman and I don't care.

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  4. 1. Red Grant
    2. Oddjob
    3. Rosa Klebb
    4. Fiona Volpe
    5. Xenia Onatopp

    (Honorable mentions: Irma Bunt (OHMSS), Jaws, Kronsteen, Baron Samedi, Vargas (Thunderball), Tee Hee)

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  5. No love for Bambi and Thumper? For shame.

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  6. well, you know my feelings about Red Grant as a "henchman" considering he logged damned near as much screen time as, another "henchman" Dr. No. That whole movie was really about a test of skills between two super spies. The thought of him, not to mention super henchmen Rosa Klebb, and Odd Job on a list with .... what, Baron Samedi, Jaws, Windt & Kidd just seems to hugely dishonor real henchmen. I did kind of like Rosamund Pike, though. A "babe" who can actually make you believe she has a brain in her head.

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  7. K, Yeah... Ms. Taro is a quality hench(wo)man! :)

    Kronsteen and Klebb were interesting as well. In a way, I really loved that SPECTRE was using people with different traits. It made them feel very real world to me. If they created them today for the first time, it would be nothing but billionaires and musclemen.

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  8. Backthrow, Isn't it interesting how most of the names mentioned come from the first three films?

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  9. Shawn, They didn't exactly do much or they probably would have rated higher.

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  10. Jed, LOL! Sorry. You're probably right about Grant being more than a henchman. Though he really is third in command in that film.

    I like Rosamund Pike a lot. :)

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  11. Andrew,

    Yes... well, really films 2, 3 & 4... I don't see anyone mentioning Professor Dent in DR. NO, and only K offered up Miss Taro. Both are good and sinister (and Miss Taro was hot), but both managed to fail at the simple tasks they were given to do.

    Technically, Dr. No and Largo are also henchmen... of Blofeld, but since ol' chrome-dome is nowhere to be seen in the first film, and is only in THUNDERBALL for a moment at the beginning, these two baddies can't legitimately be put on this list. If we treat this week's question as a 'Ja, boss!' goon list, I'd go with:

    1.) Oddjob
    2.) Irma Bunt (who did the worst thing ever to Bond... and apparently got away with it! I'm not going to say what, though, lest I spoil things for anyone who hasn't seen OHMSS yet)
    3.) Jaws (pre-MOONRAKER)
    4.) Tee Hee
    5.) Baron Samedi

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  12. I will grant that the DCraig Bond movies do not have "great" villains/henchpersons... but they do have -mmmm- Daniel Craig.

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  13. No Wayne Newton? I'm shocked. Shocked, I tell you!

    My top 5:

    1. Xenia Onatopp - sexy, fun, and deadly. Her desires were to kill, not for money or power, but because it gave her sexual satisfaction. While Bond has certainly been sexual over the years, his motivation for killing has always been queen and country. Not Xenia. If she was a guy, she'd be one of the creepiest serial killers in history. A true black widow who mates and kills.

    2. Oddjob - silent malevolence. While Goldfinger was the talkative, brainy yin motivated only by greed, Oddjob was the silent, brawny yin motivated, seemingly, only by a desire to hurt people.

    3. Imrm Bunt - evil... and still alive. At some point in Bond's history, we should've gotten some report through MI6 that Tracy Bond's killer had been apprehended and addressed. Dammit.

    4. Tee Hee - while Baron Samedi had a great ending, Tee Hee was the real malevolence in this flick - my favorite from the Moore years.

    5. Boris Grishenko - it's the nerd in me, but Mr. "I AM INWINCIBUL" was a great introduction to the post-Internet nerdier side of the James Bond franchise. He had his own brand of lethality in his hacking skills and had the guts to stand up to his boss - one of the greatest villains in the franchise, Alex Trevelyn. Plus, I love GoldenEye.

    Honorable Mentions:

    Nick Nack: a bit too bumbling to get into the top 5, but still a fun addition to the series.

    Red Grant: Great henchman who, if he hadn't been a Blofeld puppet, would've been a great main villain.

    Rosa Klebb: Ditto.

    Most certainly not on the list:

    Jaws: Sorry, but I just never liked him. He was all teeth and no personality. A one-note character who's acting directions were pretty much limited to "stand there" and "smile". Meh.

    Side note:

    Has anyone noticed that the recent "rebooted" Bond universe that none of the villains seem to have any significant henchmen? The closest we got was the blond girl who poisoned Bond's drink in Casino Royale, but that's it. They're pretty much simple cannon fodder for the movie and that's it.

    I guess one COULD argue that Le Chiffre actually was a henchmen of the higher-ranking Mr. White, but he's certainly not a henchman of the classic variety.

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  14. 5minutes said:

    Jaws: Sorry, but I just never liked him. He was all teeth and no personality. A one-note character who's acting directions were pretty much limited to "stand there" and "smile". Meh.

    What about his great grandpappy?

    LOL

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  15. Blissful friday nights in my formative youth: WWW, T.H.E. Cat and The Man From Uncle. That and the one night we got pizza too.

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  16. Backthrow, Sorry, that's what I meant -- 2-3.

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  17. rlaWTX, One thing you have to give Craig is that his villains are much more "real world" than the prior guys.

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  18. 5minutes, I don't like Jaws either. I like nothing about him actually.

    On the Craig villains, the films have been a different style and henchmen really haven't been needed. Also, I think that with the creation of Quantum, we really were looking at the henchmen only so far.

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  19. K, I enjoyed WWW a lot, but in syndication.

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  20. Although hardly a "top 5" hench-person, I should give a wink, nod, and modest shout out to Helga Brandt played by the German actress Karin Dor. With her hair died red, she became something of a look alike to Fiona Volpe. For those that do not immediately recognize the name (uh, that would pretty much be everybody, I think) she was the SPECTRE agent posing as secretary to Mr. Osato in "You Only Live Twice." I seem to recall reading somewhere that the name was chosen as a little mini-hommage" to the incomparable Gala Brandt.

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  21. "Mr. Osato believes in a healthy chest..."

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  22. Jed, In truth, I thought Osato and Brandt were kind of wasted in that film. I liked them, but they didn't do much with them. I think it would have been better to downplay Donald Plesence and to stick with Osato and Brandt.

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  23. Well Backthrow, he was risking his life. ;)

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  24. Here's something really interesting! Chris Nolan is apparently talking about directing the next James Bond film. That would be pretty interesting.

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  25. I really like Nolan, and would look forward to seeing it.

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  26. Jed, Me too. I like his creativity and I suspect he could do some pretty cool with the film.

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  27. Her villainous Bond girl status did have a lot of potential.

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  28. Jed, I agree. I think they both had lots of potential, but the film went another way for whatever reason.

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  29. Within the limits of network television, his "Person of Interest" has had some interesting moments. I like the actors, and the concepts, even if at times, pretty convoluted.

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  30. Not sure how I feel about a Nolan Bond. I liked Nolan Batman, but it was a redefinition of a character that he could do within the context of the world he'd created. Bond... I'm just not confident that Nolan's typical tone would fit with the series. It'd be kinda like letting Paul Thomas Anderson do it... I love PTA, but the tone would be very, very wrong.

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