Guest Review: The Nude Bomb a.k.a. The Return of Maxwell Smart (1980)

By ScottDS
When the original Get Smart series premiered on Nick at Night in 1991, I was eight years old and at the urging of my mother, I decided to check it out. Five minutes later, I was a die-hard fan. I’ve since seen every episode multiple times… as well as the various spinoffs. Sadly, none of those spinoffs were nearly as good as the series that spawned them. Today, we’re going to take a look at the 1980 box-office flop The Nude Bomb (re-titled The Return of Maxwell Smart for TV).

I’m not going to spend a lot of time on the synopsis. KAOS threatens to detonate the titular “nude bomb” which will destroy the fabrics of the world and Maxwell Smart - Agent 86 - is called in to foil the plot. Assisting him on his mission are a trio of female agents (36, 22, and 34) along with series veterans Larabee and Agent 13. After side trips to New York City, the Universal Studios backlot (playing itself for once), and Austria, and a car/desk (!) chase, Max and 22 discover the location of the villain’s hideout and confront KAOS designer Norman Saint Sauvage who plans to clothe the world in his own image. In a twist, it’s revealed that Sauvage never existed and is, in fact, a clone of a KAOS scientist named Nino Salvatore Sebastiani, whom Sauvage had killed off earlier. The bizarre climax involves multiple clones of Max and Nino/Sauvage fighting as the nude bombs go off. Eventually, Max kills Nino and escapes with 22. The last shot features them, sans clothes, as they run to the rescue chopper (in a wide shot, thank God).

I enjoyed this movie when I was younger but I watched it again a few years ago (in HD, looking much better than it should) and it doesn’t hold up at all! It’s nice to see the late, great Don Adams back in action again but he can’t save this film. The catchphrases and gags are still there, but many of them aren’t executed very well. While the script is credited to original series writers Leonard Stern and Arne Sultan, as well as Don Adam’s old writing partner Bill Dana (who also appears in the film), according to Stern in later years, they were not welcome on the set and the studio seemingly had no interest in doing anything related to the show. Director Clive Donner was known for smaller character-driven films and brings nothing to the proceedings. (He wasn’t known for his sense of humor either, according to Don Adams.) The film has a dull TV movie look to it and the editing in some scenes is amateurish at best.

When I say the studio wanted little to no association with the series, I’m serious. Max doesn’t even work for CONTROL; instead, he works for PITS, which stands for Provisional Intelligence Tactical Service. The chief is played by Dana Elcar (Ed Platt had passed away) who does what he can with the material. Agent 99 isn’t mentioned, nor is Max and 99’s marriage, or their twins. Barbara Feldon declined to be involved with the film - she chose... wisely. Robert Karvelas (Don Adams’ cousin in real life) returns as Larabee. He’s in fine form here, as he was on the show where he was the chief’s dim-witted assistant and the only character dumber than Max. Agent 13 (a.k.a. the agent who hides in unusual places) is now played by Joey Forman, who had appeared in the series as the Hawaiian detective Harry Hoo. He’s alright, I guess, though a gag featuring him hiding inside the page of a magazine is just... weird!

The aforementioned female agents (36, 22, and 34) are played by Pamela Hensley, Andrea Howard, and Sylvia Kristel. Hensley is best known for playing Princess Ardala in the TV series Buck Rogers in the 25th Century while Kristel is best known for playing the title character in the Emmanuelle movies (she keeps her clothes on this time). I have no idea what Howard is best known for. She plays Agent 22 and has no chemistry with Don Adams whatsoever. There’s an awkward romance that’s forced into the screenplay – it literally comes out of nowhere. 86 is leery of 22 at first, then admits they can’t fool around on the job (he just assumes she’s interested), and then 22 is jealous when she thinks Max is fooling around with 36 (he isn’t). None of this works. At all. And 34 is in one scene – a glorified cameo, no doubt made by Kristel during her lunch break on Emmanuelle Goes to Dinosaur Land.

It’s obvious the studio was trying to fit Max into the James Bond template but they failed miserably. Hell, this was one year after Moonraker. The bar had been lowered - they didn’t have to try that hard! Even the title sequence, featuring the phrase “Would You Believe?” in large letters, is done in the style of a James Bond title sequence… if that title sequence was designed by fifth graders. There’s even a cheesy song, “You’re Always There (When I Need You),” sung by Merry Clayton with music and lyrics by Lalo Schifrin and Don Black, respectively, both of whom have done much better work elsewhere.

There’s another element to this film that I missed when I was younger since the only copy I had was taped from network television. There’s some light profanity in this film as well as some cheap sexual innuendos (and a gratuitous wet t-shirt shot). I have no problem with any of these things but they don’t belong in Get Smart! Max is an innocent – he doesn’t curse! The wet t-shirt gag takes place during a sequence at Universal Studios where Max and 22 are following a lead and quickly find themselves smack-dab in the middle of a shameless promotion for the studio tram tour. It’s neat to see the old Battlestar Galactica attraction but I’m wondering if this was some sort of publicity thing, or if they simply ran out of money and decided to incorporate the lot into the film, as opposed to building a new set or dressing up part of the lot as something else.

Lest you think otherwise, there are one or two highlights in the film. The late Vittorio Gassman plays both Sebastiani and Sauvage and he’s actually pretty good… better than this movie deserves. The part of Carruthers (the Q of this movie) is played by veteran character actor Norman Lloyd, who’s still alive at the young age of 97! For some reason (bad writing), Max takes an instant disliking to Carruthers, but Lloyd gives as good as he gets. He has some great deadpan reactions and I love his slimy delivery when Max asks if his stapler phone can also work as a stapler. Lloyd just glares at him and answers, “No!” I know it’s sad when “No!” is one of the funnier parts of the film. He outfits Max’ apartments with the usual spy gadgets, including a doorbell that’s actually a door knocker, a door knocker that’s actually a doorbell, a wall that’s a door, a door that’s a wall, and a filing cabinet with enough room for Agent 13 to hide in. Coolest of all, Max gets a desk that can be driven like a car. This comes in handy later and I’d love to see something like this in another (better) movie one day. Max is amazed when Carruthers says the desk runs on ink. Unfortunately, the ink comes from the Middle East!

So that’s The Nude Bomb, but it wasn’t the end of the Get Smart franchise. In 1989, the surviving cast members reunited for an ABC TV movie titled Get Smart, Again! Max, 99, Hymie the Robot, Larabee, Agent 13, Siegfried, and Shtarker all return for more of the same. Max and his team are reactivated after KAOS threatens the world with a weather machine. The late Kenneth Mars plays the chief of the generically-named United States Intelligence Agency and there’s a bizarre scene inside a room known as the Hall of Hush where spoken words actually form in mid-air. This time, thankfully, the series is actually acknowledged and Max and 99 are happily married, with the events of The Nude Bomb being ignored completely. This movie is worth watching once and it’s nice to see the whole gang back together but it doesn’t really hold up. One highlight is the opening title sequence in which Max’ trip through the hallway of doors is recreated.

In 1995, Fox aired a short-lived Get Smart sequel series, with Don Adams, Andy Dick, Elaine Hendrix, and, on occasion, Barbara Feldon. 86 is now the chief of Control, 99 is now a Congresswoman (Max still calls her 99), Andy Dick plays their bumbling son Zach (the other Smart twin isn’t seen), and Hendrix is Zach’s partner, Agent 66. The main problem with this show was that, with 86 and Zach as the leads, there was no straight man. The other problem, if I recall, was the constant pre-emption due to football. I don’t remember much from this show, other than the “modernized” title sequence. Bernie Kopell and Dave Ketchum showed up again as Siegfried and Agent 13, respectively, and they even managed to reference Kopell’s role as Doc on The Love Boat. One genius idea was the character of Agent 0, a master of disguise played by a different actor in every episode. (I had forgotten about the canned laughter and cheap production value but after watching a clip on YouTube... yikes!) This show lasted seven episodes

The only thing I have to say about the 2008 Steve Carell movie is that, while walking out of the theater, I managed to tell my friend, “That was surprisingly not terrible.” I have no interest in watching it again – if I did, I’d probably think it was terrible. If Hollywood ever tries to make another Get Smart movie, they’d be wise to hire Alan Spencer, the creator of the 80s TV series Sledge Hammer. On the other hand, after watching his recent IFC series Bullet in the Face, it’s obvious Spencer needs someone to rein him in.

It would seem I just pulled the old “review one movie and throw in two mini-reviews at the end” trick!

(P.S. I always use original poster artwork for my reviews but the poster for The Nude Bomb is so bad that I used the old VHS box art instead!)